BDSM is not abuse and should not be seen as such.
Consensual aggressive play between adults is not abusive and should not be seen as such.
Consent, it’s a simple word with simple meaning. Webster’s Dictionary defines consent as “compliance in or approval of what is done or proposed by another” and “agreement as to action or opinion”. You hear often from those who are not part of the lifestyle that BDSM is abusive. People who are not a part of the lifestyle can often mistake the bruises and scratches of rough play as signs of abuse. The BDSM lifestyle is about consensual actions taken by grown and knowledgeable adults.
If a person decides to be a submissive or slave to another it is with total knowledge and consent; this person is not forced into this position. A slave or submissive may be ordered around, used in what may be construed as an aggressive or violent manor, ordered to perform degrading or humiliating acts and used sexually in ways others may find abusive. The submissive or slave gave willingly and knowledgeably these rights to their dominant or master. The action of submitting to a dominant is often referred to as “Consensual servitude” and with a master it is referred to as “Consensual slavery.”
The difference between an abusive relationship and a BDSM relationship is that all participants are willing and in many cases ask for the actions they experience. There are people in this world who enjoy the experience of being humiliated. There are people who enjoy being ordered around in their daily affairs. There are people who find extreme enjoyment in the bruises and marks left from a switch, knife, needle, rope or even a hand.
Knowledge is power; if you are in a truly abusive relationship where violent or aggressive acts are taken against you without your consent then please contact the authorities.
Surrender4love and I find great enjoyment in the way that we play. During play it is common for bruises to be left and often this is the goal. We engage in and enjoy blood play which requires knifes and needles for cutting and piercing the skin.
Profanity and degrading terms are often used in our day to day life and in the bedroom. Throughout the day I may refer to Surrender4love as “my dirty little whore” or “my little cock slut” but we keep these references whispered when in public so as not to interfere with the happiness of the public in general. Though these terms are derogatory in nature we use them as terms of endearment, something that John and Jane Vanilla won’t be saying to each other any time soon. We agreed, as consensual adults, that the terms used are acceptable in the realm of our relationship.
Surrender4love has given me the greatest gift anyone has ever provided. The gift is greater to me then a new car, a big screen TV or all the money I could fit in my house. She has given me her submission and in that has shown me the ultimate level of trust and respect. This gift she has given however can not be taken lightly by me, if I push her past the acceptable lines we have established in our relationship (of which there are few) then she may again take this gift away. She is my submissive but she is not forced into this position, it is consensual on both of our parts.
~~conquer4love~~
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