What dominance means to me (Part 1)
**start-note** It should be noted that the explanations I use bellow are in reference to OUR Long Term 24/7 TPE and not to people who come in for short to medium term play. This post should not be assumed to represent the ideals or thoughts of any other dominant that you come across, in fact I find them to be a little uncommon when speaking to many other doms in the world.**end-note**
Dominance in the family and relationship is important and one of the major factors to the success of our relationship.
I have been in many vanilla relationships in the past but they were always tarnished with the back and forth power plays that plaque most “equal” couples. Our D/s relationship has allowed me to take the reigns in our relationship and direct where the family goes, where we focus our efforts and how we get where we are going.
Dominance is so much more then just taking the lead, it forces me to be totally accountable for bad decisions that I make.
I am human and from time to time I will make mistakes, I will head down the wrong road in an attempt to get us where we are going, and I am responsible when I make those decisions. Before I make a decision on where we are going I have to try and take into account everything that can go wrong and plan based on those possibilities.
Dominance is not “never having to say your sorry”, dominance is making choices which will limit the number of times you have to say it.
I have a dominant personality however it is my girl’s submission that allows us to travel through this world and down its paths with little impedance. Anyone can be dominant through force or lack of respect; I however am dominant in the relationship because of our respect.
My girl trusts and respects me enough to make decisions that are in our best interest.
My girl honors me with that trust and respect. She believes that I will always take her desires, interests and welfare into account. If I started to ignore her needs and not take her welfare into account she knows that she has the ability to take that submission back. If I became abusive in a way that would force her to withdraw her submission from me then that would be the end of our relationship since at that point it would not be healthy on either the dominant or submissive sides.
Dominance to me means always having to place the needs of those I lead above myself.
I have always been a provider because I was raised that way from a very young age. I was ingrained with the ideals that a man provides for his family even to the detriment of himself. If one of the members of the family needs something that I also need they will receive it before I do. If my girl needs medical or dental care and it is within our means she will be seen before I am, because I am to provide for her first. This is not part of our agreement; it is just how I am.
Punishment allows us to move past minor issues and never look back.
In our relationship I issue punishment when I feel that my commands have not been followed in the proper manor. I will also issue punishment if I feel that I have been disrespected or slighted. The act of punishment allows us to move past these inevitable circumstances that will occur because we are human and focus again on the relationship. When something that my girl has done upsets me I let her know why and what the punishment will be. This prevents (or limits) the situation happening again and keeps us from playing the destructive “remember that time you <said/did/didn’t do> this and upset me” nitpicking down the road that often leads to the destruction of normal relationships.
To me dominance is my way of showing love and caring.
I am the sort of person where my family is top priority at all times. Being a dominant individual allows me to show that I care about them or love them in such a way that I am willing to be responsible for them. I could care less about most peoples actions or needs in this world, my primary concern are the needs of my family. If I take someone and make them a member of the family, and thus take a position of dominance over them, I am agreeing to be totally responsible for their health and wellbeing; this is not something that I take lightly. The most effective way for me to show my feeling for someone is to be able to be the provider for them in all ways. In turn, the most effective way for someone to show their feelings towards me is in their submission, the fact that they care, trust and respect me enough to submit to me speaks more about their feelings than any words that could ever come out of their mouths.
Dominance is not anti-feminism, sexism or sexual discrimination.
I am a male, I am masculine and I am dominant. This does not in any way mean that I am inherently better than my girl and it does not mean that she is in any way inferior to me because she was born with a vagina rather than a penis. As humans, people and members of society we truly are equal, in our relationship we are equal. My dominance is not based on my sex, it is based on the fact that she has made a conscious choice to be submissive to me, and this truly is the purpose behind feminism; choice. My girl is not submissive to every male in the world and any male who assumes an air of dominance over her based on her sex will be surprised at the level of her retort as well as mine. I would like it known that I support feminism and will stand on the front lines with you assuming you are of the ideals that feminism is about choice and equality without discrimination of our differences. However, if you are of the mind that we are all the same or we all should be the same then that is not equality it is “sameity” and it is ass backwards. I will not support those who look down on a submissive female or refuse to accept the choices made by a female who chooses to become submissive. There are inherent differences between males and females on a physiological and psychological level and these differences will always exist. Equality is not about making these differences disappear, it’s about not allowing the differences to limit the choices you can make.
If you wish to discuss this article with me please use the comment form or “send feedback” link. With your comment please keep a level and respectful tone and I will approve any comments that are a discussion, even if they contradict my beliefs, but I will not approve comments that are attacking, derogatory or abusive. This article is about my feelings, thoughts and ideals and this article does not and should not be assumed as representative of anyone elses. This article has been approved by an “equality feminist” but I didn’t take the time to run it past a “sameity feminist”.
~~BloodLustDaddy~~
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