How a collar relates to our dominant/submissive relationship…
Surrender4love has worn her collar for over a year straight now, it has only been taken off twice during our relationship. The first time we removed her collar was due to an infraction that put our very relationship in danger and the other was for cleaning.
Many a master takes issue with a dominant collaring his submissive, many masters feel that the collar is and should be reserved as a tool for a master to use with his slave and not for a dominant to “soil the meaning of” in a D/s relationship. I take exception with how these masters view the collar simply because they do not and cannot understand the depth of our relationship. Surrender4love’s submission to me is complete in all matters, it is my choice to allow her to choose how and when specific things happen in her day to day life. There are days when I come home and from the moment I reference her as “slave” she enters truly into the slave mindset and thus her collar should be well earned even in their eyes(not that I really care how they view the matter).
The collar Surrender4love wears is a sign of her submission, her level of ownership and her total devotion to me in all matters. During the times that Surrender4love has gone without her collar she has felt detached from herself, her life and our relationship. Nothing thrills me more than seeing my girl in her collar;nothing gets me more excited than grabbing my girls collar and pulling her close to me. It’s a physical and publicly visible symbol of her choice to allow someone else to control her choices and actions in life.
Our choice to establish our lifestyle as a D/s relationship rather then an M/s relationship is primarily because she has the ability to enter into the mindset of a slave and my ability to truly enter into a master mindset when I feel that such is needed. We feel that in the long run having my girl be a slave would take away many of the little things that made me fall in love with her those many years ago: her love of being random, her love of creating art and her history of seeing the simplest things in the world as amazing. If my girl was to become a 24/7 slave these things would quickly dissolve away in her submission and thus destroy the very things I value so much in her.
Neither of us take the collar lightly. Both of us understand its meaning to us and its symbolism of our relationship. When I placed the collar around her neck I knew I was agreeing to someone allowing me to make all major decisions in the relationship and in our lives together. To me this level of submission is not a joke and is not just a sexual game, I consider myself responsible for every decision I make on her behalf.
Through the collar, my dominance and her submission we have found a relationship that matches our personalities perfectly and have both found what we consider to be the most loving, happy and fulfilling relationship either of us have had in our 30+ years of life on this chaotic planet.
~~BloodLustDaddy~~
2 Responses to “How a collar relates to our dominant/submissive relationship…”
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I agree, extra posts like this 1!
I fully agree with the above, 27 years ago myself and my mistress was married first in the morning we did the formal vanilla bit with the exception she removed the obey part and I included it in, the vicar was not happy. that night we did our lifestyle marraige which involved me being collered, I have worn this with few exceptions for every day since, only exceptions was when she found new ones (we still have the original in a case) or when I needed surgery and a MRI scan. we are not mistress/slave she is dominant I submissive in a female led marraige. In all these years we have remained faithful and loving to each other and not felt the need to do the making me dress in her stuff or her going out to get lovers thing, being the submissive partner does not mean you have to have no balls, in fact quite the opposite.
I feel that some people wrongfully classify subversive men as weak men. Somewhere along the line, they have been wrongly told that submission in a man is weak. It is my opinion that we are the strongest of men.
As a truly submissive man I am a protector, a servant, a planner, as well as a graceful reflection of my Dominant Partner. I am conscious that my appearance is reflection of her and therefore endeavour myself to always be well put together. I am a silent reflection of her strength and a supporter of her dreams and goals. .
As a submissive man I act with dignity, in fact I act with the dignity of the best butler…anticipating her needs because I know her. I know she drinks a cup of tea before bed and strive to have it waiting for her when she retires. I know after a long day she will need a foot rub and at weekend a massage so I have learned to do these. I know after a bad day she want to have someone to moan and complain to without having an opinion or interruption, so I do that. I will always take her word as law and never question it and will always do as she asks.
I strive to posses the best of manners, and what I mean by this goes way deeper than what the general society believes. I go shopping with her and carry her bags, I always open the door for her, I pull out her chair every time, no matter the location. I stand when she leaves the dinner table, even when we are alone. I realise that my manners are a reflection of my deep gratitude for her.
As a submissive man I am a gentleman first. I am honourable. I don’t act out in order to seek what might be an enjoyable sexual favour or punishment. In fact, a punishment is never enjoyable; it’s a failing to please my Mistress. And it’s never fun.
The fun comes not only from the deep service I provide, but also when I am alone with my Mistress and a scene evolves. She knows me well and because I am indispensible to her, she will make every fantasy I have come true. When I am ill she cares for me deeply she forbids me to do a thing, it is at those moment I know how much she appreciates me.
She values me tremendously. I am not less than her, but an extension of her. I am invaluable because even though I am submissive to her, I am not submissive to everyone. I serve her and only her (mind you we have had a little fun in that with some of her female friends occasionally as she has a little bi tendency which I am happy to indulge her with), and in that service comes a sense of joy and purpose. It also defines me as a man, a strong man, a submissive man.
In conclusion like yourselves we regard my wearing of the collar as a lifestyle choice with great meaning to each other, like yourselves we do not play at it on weekends or clubs this is our life choice.