Posted by: by surrender4love on July 14, 2008 @ 2:24 am

Personally, I feel that in our day to day relationship that having expectations are harder to keep up with than rules. Before I get started on that topic, I do want to say that what follows are my personal thoughts and feelings on the matter. I am in no way saying that one way is better or worse. I am just stating what works for our relationship.

With the rules you have punishment. Rules are set and not always maintained leading to punishment. Now, this is not to say that Conquer4love does not whip me just for amusement because he does and he does have the right to punish me when he sees fit which can be outside of the rules being set. What I am saying here, is that in my view point the biggest reason for lists of rules within a relationship is to manage punishments in a way to keep punishments happening. I am not saying that a sub/slave needs to be punished all the time but there is something about punishments that a sub/slave needs or they would not get into the lifestyle in the first place. Also, a Dom/Master who has a perfect sub/slave with no punishments ever required doesn’t fulfill their need to punish beyond exerting basic control.

Do we need rules? Yes. Do we need a long list of rules? No. Rules for us are basic. It is the expectations and the management of expectations that keep things moving along. Expectations are not a bad thing in a relationship as long as there is open communication about what those expectations are. How many times do people jump into relationships with their own expectations only to hold a grudge against who they are with if those expectations are not met? The key to using each other’s expectations to enhance the relationship lies with communication. Conquer4love and I are very fortunate in that we have a very open communication on everything and neither one judges the other for that at all.

My enjoyment of trying to meet his expectations comes both in the doing of each one and in of the accomplishment of what I can get done for him. Meeting an expectation lets him know what I am capable of and how far I will go to please him. Some days I manage to get a good deal of them met and other days it can be a struggle but there is no day that passes by in which I do not try my best to meet with his expectations. Pleasing him, taking care of what he wants me to take care of in a day… well, there is a trust that comes with that. He can trust that I will do my best to do what he wants and or needs me to do and in that I can trust that he will acknowledge what expectations are being met and what expectations are not being met.

Tags: Dom, dominance, expectations, master, punish, punishment, Relationship, relationship expectations, rules, slave, sub, submissive, submissive journal, surrender4love

Category: Relationship, submissive journal

One Response to “surrender4love’s journal entry: Sunday 7/13/2008”

1. slave jane says:

   July 14, 2008 at 9:59 pm

   So how have you learned what this expectations are? Are they just the way he wants things done, or have they just been things you have learned from your relationship together?

   Is there punishment for not meeting the expectations?
   What about dicipline? I have always thought the two diffrent. Dicipline for of…maintance. I guess.
   Do you have regular discipline?

   (Forgive the spelling, I have a migraine..;)
   And this is all totally nosey..you don’t have to answer any of it, of course!

   ~~jane