I am a man, I am allowed to be unreasonable…
Before you respond read the whole fucking article.
History.
I am going to make some broad generalizations now that may upset you, please understand that these observations are based on my personal experiences. Though they may not apply to everyone I feel that I have had a large enough sampling in my years of dating to make an educated observation. I am sure there are exceptions, you may be the exception, but I am going to state things as I see them. So that you understand where I am coming from, you should know that I have what some would deem as an… excessive history of relationships. The majority of these relationships were short lived (six months to a year) with a few lasting from four years clear up to ten years.
The majority of my relationships in the past have been the very model of “normal” and “acceptable” by societies standards. As an example one of my last relationships made everyone else happy, they saw us as the “perfect couple” and often attempted to duplicate what they saw. The issue here is they were only seeing what we wanted them to see, they never saw the power struggles and the four hour arguments that took a toll on our relationship and trust for each other. Often I looked around to try and find why these things were happening in what was designed to be a good relationship. Why were we fighting? Why were we engaged in a power struggle? Why would she be manipulative? Why would she purposefully engage in behavior designed to make me jealous? Why was each day an attempt to break me down more and more from a dominant man into a easily manipulated pawn?
I have never been the type of person to be content with that “things just are” explanation. I have always been driven to understand why things are and what cause and effect exists in each situation. Being that these were vanilla relationships, questions were always left unanswered and simple questions were treated as personal attacks. By forming a group of female friends and a series of surprisingly open and honest relationships, I was able to get many of the answers that had plagued me for so many years. I am going to make my observations and provide substantial evidence in order to back up my observations. Afterwards, I will explain why I am happy to be an “unreasonable man” and how this will never change.
Observations.
- Women are manipulative
- Women are pathological liars
- Women both seek out dominant males and fear a dominant male
I understand that you may consider these to be brash statements so let me expand on each point and provide proof to my comments. Keeping in mind that I do not see women as starting out this way but that they develop these traits based on pressure in our society.
1. Women are manipulative.
In general women are raised from childhood being taught that men are stupid, stubborn, indecisive and ultimately unable to take care of themselves or anyone else. Mass media is filled with examples of men who are unable to make even the most basic decisions unless it involves a grill or a sport with lots of other men and a round object. Examples of this are easy to spot in nearly any commercial aimed at the female demographic as well as nearly every soap opera and prime time T.V. series. When was the last time you saw “Tim Taylor” from “Tool Time”, “George Lopez” from the “George Lopez Show” or even “Bill Cosby” from the “Bill Cosby Show” provide happily for their families while cleanly taking care of all the family issue that come up during the day? All of these men and many more are shown to be bumbling idiots who can never do anything right and require the wife to come home and fix everything the man has screwed up. Mass media makes it very clear that men are not that bright and because we are stubborn the only way to actually get a male to do anything correctly is to manipulate him into either doing it right or getting someone else to do it for him. Men being stubborn and indecisive requires that women manipulate the situation to get the desired result while attempting to make the man believe that it was his idea from the start.
Things have taken a turn for the worse in society regarding the normal power structure that is perpetrated by all major media outlets. No longer is Ricky(I Love Lucy) coming home to his loving wife and taking care of any issues that may have come up during the day, now Tim is coming home and fucking everything up requiring Jill to manipulate him into a happy outcome. I am unsure of exactly where this transition took place however, I am fairly confident that this is yet another unacceptable bi-product of the post-feminist era of the sexual revolution. I can already see the trolls getting ready to flame me to hell but WAIT AND FINISH THE FUCKING ARTICLE FIRST. One may believe that it was perhaps a requirement that to raise up one social group another had to be brought down. However, I believe that this is just another case of mistaken intent based on a few extremists that got involved. At some point feminism changed from a focus of equality to a focus of man hating and female superiority. Even many of the founders of the feminist movement have withdrawn and condemned the actions taken as outside of the intended results.
To further substantiate my stance on point: I call into question the lovely set of best selling female training manuals “The Rules” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, self professed “Dating Coaches” (I will not link to such lie filled and manipulative tripe, so just Google for “The Rules” if you really want to read the worst of the worst crap). I do recommend that males take the time to read these books as it will provide a perfect (and best selling, mind you) example of how women are trained to believe that males are incapable of providing, deciding and being dependable. These “Rules” instruct women on how to catch a man and through manipulation entice him into a marriage that is based entirely on lies and deceit. My concern, is that as women grow from childhood though adulthood and then into parenthood these stereotypes are force fed to their male children creating generations of men who believe that “Al Bundy” from “Married with children” is not only an acceptable personality but that it is actually desirable.
2. Women are pathological liars
This comes not from some inherent internal flaw that exists in the female genome but is another example of the training that has been used through the years to brainwash females into what is now an acceptable and standard practice when dealing with men. Because men are so easily confused by maps and how to put their pants on, women are required to lie to men in order to get them to be productive. Rather than teach women to be honest and express their desires and feelings, they are taught that any show of emotion is a weakness that men will exploit for their own benefit. Women now enter into and maintain relationships where they are truly not happy because they are forced to hold their thoughts and feelings inside and use deception in order to achieve the outcome they desire or the outcome they believe they should have regardless of whether this outcome is either fulfilling or truly desirable.
This training is completely unacceptable in my opinion and is just another catalyst to the high divorce rates that exist in today’s world. To attempt to train an entire sub-group of modern humanity that deception, manipulation and lying are acceptable and required traits when dealing with those we wish to have a relationship with, is as much a crime as instructing your child that stealing is ok and that everyone is doing it.
Each woman is personally responsible for her actions in furthering this tactic, and as I see it are the ones that will primarily have to deal with the results. Unless women make a conscious decision to ignore the tripe they have been force fed from childhood and embrace a more honest, and as a result spiritually filling, existence then as more and more men grow up into the stereotypes that they are being portrayed as, women will find it more difficult or nearly imposable to actually find a truly desirable mate.
3. Women both seek out dominant males and fear a dominant male
There is a social yin and yang that exists in society that is clearly at odds with most females personal desires when it comes to a mate. In general, women desire a man who is dominant and capable of providing for her and the family while being internally torn by the ideals that have been falsely implanted into them. When women begin relationships that are more then just sexual pleasure they have been attracted to this male based on desirable traits. On one hand a strong, dedicated and dominant man is the ideal mate but the relationship will quickly turn into a power play with the end result being the very traits that were attractive, being striped from the male. Women expend a huge amount of effort to attract this desirable man into a relationship, once the man is in the relationship an even larger amount of effort is expended in an attempt to keep the man in the relationship. Both of these are acceptable and expected actions however the next step is clearly self destructive… Women, when they have the man in the relationship will then begin to needle away at the mans ego and strengths, until what they end up with is a husk that has no desirable attributes. This behavior is built from the very internal fear that woman have of a strong and dominant man.
Society has taught women that dominance is something to be feared and eradicated at nearly any cost. Society is filled with people who are incapable of seeing that a balance can exist between dominance and submission, that leads both people being happy. Women are trained that dominance cannot exist without one person being placed forcibly into a position of servitude. This dominance cannot exist without the other person being striped of their own personalities and desires. Dominance in today’s world is seen as indistinguishable from of an abusive personality type. Surely, no person would willingly submit to the authority of another human and when this happens clearly, the poor woman is in an abusive relationship and must be saved.
These are false and narrow minded restrictions that are placed on terms used to describe traits in males. For the majority of people in today’s society they are unable to differentiate an abusive personality from a dominant personality, simply because there are a few minor similarities between the two. It is my personal opinion that what separates a dominant personality from an abusive personality is mental illness. Each personality should be dealt with on a case by case basis but this is not what has happened. Rather then treating an abusive personality as a mental illness and dominance as a desirable trait, they are both clumped together in the same category because there may be a few, although minor, similarities in the personality profiles. This is the same society that glares down at jealously and sees it as an unacceptable and dangerous emotion rather than accepting that the only people who become that dangerous in the grips of jealously are the same people that already have existing mental stability issues. Rather than attempt to differentiate and understand either dominance or jealously, they are both just treated as dangerous warning signs and are met with scorn and hatred. Has society become so bitter towards our existence that all emotions and traits need to be eradicated simply because there are a few fucking wackos that are mentally instable? Next time some gunman takes pot shots at innocent people while laughing, are we going to label happiness as a dangerous trait that must be eradicated? Don’t believe me? Try getting on an airplane while being extremely happy and see how far past screening you will get before they pull you aside for a “personal conversation”. Emotions and personality traits should be understood and embraced, not discarded and ignored.
Even the most simple dominant traits displayed publicly by females in society are deemed as acceptable, while the same traits displayed by males can easily be punished by forced “anger management” classes. Why is it acceptable that females in today’s society are allowed to be dominant, while the males are punished for the same traits even when there is no violence attached to the display of dominance?
Why I am happy to be a “unreasonable man” and always will be.
This is not a point in the list but is an explanation of where this article originates from. I am a picky person when it comes to my core values and I refuse to compromise. I have lived long enough with my traits being systematically attacked in nearly every relationship I have entered into. I am a loving, gentle, caring, providing, honest, intelligent and dominant man and I refuse to compromise these traits based on some propaganda meant to belittle men as a whole. After being made aware of the systematic attacks taking place on the personalities of males, I made a conscious decision not to allow these actions into my relationship. My girl is not a captive in this relationship, she is a happy and willing participant. I have made my intentions in the relationship clear and have never swayed from my dedication to being in control of where we go. Long ago I decided that this life is mine to live and direct and anyone that wishes to join along on this journey is welcome. However, anyone attempting to take control of the steering wheel will be left behind.
Surrender4love has grown much in the short period that our relationship has existed and I trust that if she were to decide that she no longer wished to ride along with me she would leave the relationship as a better and wiser person than when she entered into the relationship. Both of us have learned a lot about ourselves and society in general during our relationship and I feel that we have both taught each other a lot. If the relationship were to end, I feel we are both better people than when we started. She would be greatly missed but she is not a captive and can leave at any time she feels the need to. I have explained to her that if she made the decision to leave there would be no hard feelings;though, she would be missed dearly.
It all comes down to me being an unreasonable man. I have decided where in life I am going and how I am going to get there. I will not allow anyone to compromise my ideals and will no longer sacrifice myself for the sake of a relationship. I will not be manipulated by someone entering into my life no matter what their views on males and dominance might be. During our relationship I am sure more females will come and go, coming when they feel it is time and leaving when they feel they need to.
No matter who comes or goes I will keep my integrity and be truthful to myself, and by today’s standards and by “The Rules” this makes me an unreasonable man.
So be it. This unreasonable man is going to bed and taking his girl with him. Perhaps, tomorrow she will tell you the advantages of being with an unreasonable man. Till then, I will make her do unreasonable and dirty things. 
~~BloodLustDaddy~~
5 Responses to “I am a man, I am allowed to be unreasonable…”
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I found myself smiling as I finished reading this entry.
My Master too, is an “unreasonable man”. His profile stated as much where I found him stating “…I am a very Dominant, very me-oriented male…” among other things.
My Owner knows exactly who he is and what he wants. I have never been in a relationship such as ours before, ie, one in which my manipulation didn’t work.
In fact, I never even realized until being His that I was so in the habit of trying to manipulate the men (or people) in my life in general and as a matter of course. It just never occurred to me I was doing it.
But continually bumping into that wall of his will has left me aching from the growing pains of this new dynamic.
I am not sure if it is upbringing, society, or my own fiercely strong will that has left me with this legacy but the strategies I once found useful have all but come crashing down around me as I learn to live within the power exchange I so craved.
It’s actually very wonderful and refreshing when I sit back, put my hands firmly in my lap, and allow that wheel to be taken permanently from me as He steers us precisely where he wishes us to go.
Thank you for your article. You might consider expanding on these thoughts and writing a book. Great stuff here. Great food for thought. Thanks again.
dk
1. Women are manipulative
YES WE ARE! lol We are. I learned from my mother, as she did from hers..the right way to get what you want. Ok, not the right way, but the basics of manipulations. Fact is, it’s hard to brake these habits. A man needs to be taught how to recgonise this manipulations to steer clear of them or atleast to confront them.
I know I have manipulated Seth into doing things the way I want them. Honestly I don’t think I feel bad about it. But he never has been able to see it when I do it. I have gone as far as to tell him this is the way I do it. I would rather not be able to get away with it. I hope to set a better example for my daughter. That she should speak her mind and not hold her feeling in. Though I do do it alot. Sometimes it’s just not worth the fight.
2. Women are pathological liars
This one…hmmm…This one takes some thought. I don’t think I am a pathological liar. I have lied. But it had reasoning behind it. I am dominate, Seth is not. As much as I would like him to be…it’s not going to happen. I have lied that…no there is no money, when in fact there is, but if he knew that he would spend it on something frivolous.
I do keep my emotions farely hidden. I didn’t used to. But lessons through life. Lessons through my marriage have tought me that..sometimes it is best not to cry or show your feelings.
3. Women both seek out dominant males and fear a dominant male
I do fear dominate males. I have been taught from a young age, every thing should be equal and men are stronger and..da dada..I don’t believe it now. But I have had my share of abuse from men who were dominate or were trying to pretend to be dominate.
I do seek them out..yet I never seem to find them. As I said I am the boss here. There is so much weight on my shoulders right now…that if I had a MAN in my life, it wouldn’t be so bad.
In my childhood, my father worked everyday (still does) to provide for me, my sis and mother. She had the option to work if she wanted. She kept the house clean and had dinner done as soon as he walked in. He was the MAN. HE took care of what needed to be done for our family. I envy him. In this marriage, in this relationship I am playing his role. I am the man.
I like your article. And I agree with above post..you should write a book about this.
It is nice to know that what seems the perfect couple are not perfect. Cause nothing is. There will always be the power struggles and spats.
With care
~~jane
doubleknot, thank you so much for your kind words… I was really expecting to be attacked when I posted this so I am happily surprised that it has been received the way I intended it.
Jane, thank you for stopping by to read and comment!
I do have to argue with you concerning point two.
2. Women are pathological liars
This falls in direct line with women being manipulative… I am not saying they are born this way it is just taught to them from a very early age. It is impossible to be manipulative without also being a liar.
I have determined to remove lying and manipulation from my life… spanking quickly resolves the issue and makes it known that I am not a musical instrument that can be played.
~~BloodLustDaddy~~
I would have thought you would be tar and feathered for your article as well, but as I read it, your points make nothing but sense. It made me think of the other end of things. How some men are seeing the bumbling idiots displayed on TV and the strong females and so some of them are growing up and believing they can be as lazy as they want to be and their wife/girlfriend will be the mothering figure and take care of everything. I wish that wasn’t the case in my marriage but it is. I would like the wheel taken from me.
Thank you, Wishful Newbie
You make a very good point about some of the males growing up with today’s TV shows. It’s rare now to see men depicted as anything but bumbling idiots. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard women describe their men as trainable, only to get into the relationship and realize they were already “trained” to be taken care of like one of the kids.
Best of luck to you
If you need to chat let me know.