Posted by: by surrender4love on August 17, 2008 @ 1:15 am

Personally, I really believe that in order for anyone to find out what it is they want then they need to be able to know what it is that they do not want. Many of us in the lifestyle, as well as in the nilla world are on a constant search for that elusive person that will make us happy. We want things to fall into place upon meeting someone. Maybe, we start out online or over the phone with many hours invested in focusing on all the good qualities but I think that is part of the problem. We should focus on all qualities, not just the good ones.

Many people, whether they are a top or bottom end up in situations where there is a level of not so good qualities that they put up with in order to keep focusing on the good. Resentment builds over the bad qualities until a moment comes where one person can no longer take the day-to-day of the relationship.

The closing of many relationships can be avoided by focusing on what you do not want before you look for someone.

Before Daddy and I entered into our relationship, we had both spent many years learning about ourselves and being with people that we knew were not going to survive in a relationship with us. We each did this on our own and in separate relationships. We took the time and had learning experiences that were emotionally draining in some cases but the key is that we learned through our actions all the things that we accepted that we did not want. We did this in such a way that when we agreed to enter into a relationship we named off what it is that we did not want first before we even covered the things that we had figured out that we wanted.

~surrender4love

Tags: meeting people, relationships, what you do not want

Category: In Real Life, Relationship