DaddyDom: What it means for his baby girl
I think there are a lot of people who have misconceptions about the DaddyDom/baby girl concept of a relationship. I’ve noticed that even within the lifestyle community, many people look down on this aspect because they carry over the misconceptions from the vanilla world. Also, as with all human nature there is a tendency to attack what is not understood and I find that this goes on in any sub-culture social network just as it does with mainstream society.
Let’s start off by taking a look at what a DaddyDom/baby girl relationship is NOT about.
It is not about incest
It is not about degradation
It is not about pedophilia
It is not about total psychological manipulation
It is not about slavery
It is not about sexual Freudian ideals
Now that above is out of the way, I am going to explain what being a in a DaddyDom/baby girl relationship is all about for me. I realize that everyone’s experience is different and I am not advocating what goes on in my relationship as being a standard in any way. I am just going over what personally works about this aspect of the lifestyle for me. You may agree and you may disagree, both of which you have the right to do. And as consenting adults in a lifestyle relationship what we do with ours is our right as well.
I am an adult woman, thirty-four years old who has retained my childlike enthusiasm and excitement over just about everything. I am also naive and gullible when it comes to the outside world. I am one of those people who want to believe the good in every one, which when added to my natural submissive nature puts me at risk with the outside world, social predators and other’s who have a stronger personality and temperament then I do. The bonus that I have going for me is that I am also smart enough to realize these things about myself and understand my own vulnerabilities. Unfortunately, I also have a tendency to be used, lied to and manipulated by predatory personality types; I often do not realize what is going on until events start to happen and I end up in situations that I won’t understand until after they have occurred. In short, I need to be protected and I know that.
Being a submissive, I have a drive to please and to put all other’s before myself. I strive to help people by serving them and fulfilling their needs in emotional, material and physical ways. I have a habit of doing these things to my own detriment. I give all that I can until I am a exhausted on all levels with no ability to stop myself from doing so. I need to be able to fulfill this drive in an environment that is safe, emotionally productive and physically healthy.
Now, I won’t go into the rest of what makes up my personality and how I work internally but suffice it to say that in all regards I need more than the standard aspect of a Dom, I need a DaddyDom and that is what and who BloodLustDaddy has become. Keep in mind though, that I did not realize that is what I needed until our relationship naturally went in that direction.
BloodLustDaddy is many things for me. He is the love of my life, my Dominant, my Master, the center of my world and he is my Daddy. He has total control of my life and he shapes my world as well as shapes me into a better person using my natural abilities. All my needs are met, expanded and developed by his control and his guidance. Because we do have a stable foundation of love, trust and respect I think that enables me to believe in him, even when I cannot believe in myself. I think an important part of him being my Daddy is that by shaping me as a person he takes great pride and joy in what I can accomplish. He pushes my limits and even though I do get scared, I have complete trust in him that what he does to me and for me is in my best interest and in the best interest of our relationship. I worship him as my provider, protector, lover and reveal in all that makes him who he is as a person both in our relationship and in the outside world. I defer to his guidance and his care and as such he has become my Daddy. And as Daddy’s baby girl I am more than a submissive woman, I am the center of his world and his heart.
Daddy’s love and dominance is both controlling and caring. He wants me to succeed because when I do so, then he succeeds as well. As his baby girl I am an extension of who he is, an outward reflection of his dominance and what that power he holds can do.
In a way, our D/s relationship is almost like an alternative version of a “traditional” 1950′s relationship with the added bonus of TPE and BDSM. In the fifties it wasn’t uncommon for the woman to call her husband her Daddy. The Daddy provided for her, cared for her and she was seen as an extension of him. The “little woman” at home was a direct product of what the Daddy, as a man could and should do in the terms of society at the time. Daddy was the problem solver, the fixer, the glue that held the family together against all odds and he was the punisher keeping his family in line and in working order. Daddy’s in society were very common until the sexual revolution. Also, just an interesting thing to note is that men in general were not depicted as bumbling idiots who couldn’t run a home or family until after the sexual revolution took place…just saying.
~surrender4love
51 Responses to “DaddyDom: What it means for his baby girl”
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i really like how you put things… i couldn’t put it any better myself… i wish others had this understanding lovely to read *hugs*
I left a comment before on this. I didn’t see it. I don’t know if they are not going through or what.
But I love this idea. I don’t know if it works for us, But for me the whole idea is the comfort. Retaining my childhood isn’t to hard, having two young children. I can often be found coloring or playing. lol
But to be able to curl up and be held and feel that comfort. Now that is something.
I have a very close relationship with my father, so that’s not it. lol
I do wish it could be incorperated more into our life.
~~jane
You explained it beautifully, thank you x
kudos! you could have been describing me and what i seek, to a tee.
thank You for helping me to clear things up for One who misunderstood…
tamed_baby: Glad we could help
I want to thank you for posting this. It has helped me understand myself a whole lot better. My friend sent me this link so I could better understand myself as he realized as we talked more and more that I am a baby girl. He is a Daddy. Its just too bad that he doesn’t live closer so he could be my Daddy.
i totally understand what you are saying! it’s like reading my story.
thank You for posting this.. its almost something i could’ve written myself – but you articulated it so much better!! *mwah*
Thank you for explaining what a Daddy is, maybe some will see now that its not about paedophilia but a need to feel protected the way a Daddy does it . Thank you once again from the bottom of my heart.
yes thats a very good discription of what it means .
I would like to take this time to thank you, explaining who I am as a Daddy, alsa the world seems not to need the Daddy/Protector any more. I Love with all that I am,give all that I have, protect with a cold vengance, and provide al that is in need, and share wants… The world sees this as wrong…. but I cant help what I feel.
I love the way you put this also.
I need to internalise this very interesting concept..You have explained very well but in your own context. How would it impact on the dominant female?
@Christopher
Personally I can not really say, the idea is interesting though.
In a D/s DaddyDom/babygirl relationship there is a specific dynamic in place based a lot on predefined gender roles. Though I have never personally seen it I am sure that a MommyDom/babyboi relationship would be based the same concept.
Normally boy/boi D/s play tends (in my experience) to be aggressive Dominant male/female and a submissive ‘boy/boi’ however I see no reason that this could not also be taken to a ‘MommyDom’ relationship context and preference.
I have a female friend who has a ‘girly boi’, I will ask her for input and give more information if I can get it
–BLD
This was beautifully put, and pulled at my heart strings…Right now I am forming a new relationship with a man who is a Daddy Dom, and has a babygirl.It really sums up what I knew I was missing…I am broken hearted because this is what I need, but our relationship is taking a different path, and I can never be “Daddys little Girl”, as his heart has already been taken.
Rosethorne:
Thank you for the kind words, I am sorry that your needs are not being met when it comes to a daddy
As someone who at heart is also a poly person I would suggest that you sit both the daddy and his girl down and discuss it, you may be surprised what you can find when you open up your mind and heart and are able get people to reconsider some of their thoughts and ideals.
Best of luck to you little one, may you find your hearts desire in the long run
–BLD
THANK YOU
as a very young girl exploring the world. i have had many relatioships were i realise this is what i was looking for but found it in abusive men. i have been looking for direction and controle but outta love and respect, for me as a person not proporty. thank you soo much for helping me to understand what it is i have been serching for and my self just a little bit more
LOVE AND RESPECT <3
I love my daddy. Had no idea we had this “dynamic” until the past 3 years when I started expanding our sexual palette.
From the moment I met him, I called him Daddy. He’s my daddy. mmm. Daddy.
I sat here and cried my eyes out. Until this moment I have felt like I was so misunderstood, I was discribed to a tee. Thank you so much, this was so beautiful!!
I am new to the lifestyle, and was lucky enough to be found by a wonderful Daddy. He has just introduced me to this dynamic (he had to first show me that my true nature was indeed submissive). Well, I have accepted that, and as of Wednesday, he introduced the Daddy Dom/babygirl dynamic. Which, I have to admit, I have taken to like a duck to water. This article could have also been written by me, as my feelings and experience are so similar. Thank you for expressing this so eloquently! My Daddy is going to love reading this!
Wow, Thank you so much for putting into words what I could clearly see in my head. I know I haven’t much experience in this lifestyle and I wish to have the utter most respect for understanding who I am and others like myself in this lifestyle. I’m still not 100 percent sure I get it all but I guess that I have all the time in the world to fully understand myself and my Daddy.
I truly don’t understand why people seem to think this lifestyle is about incest, degradation, pedophilia, total psychological manipulation, slavery and or sexual Freudian ideals. I get that in the eyes of many it’s wrong but why is it that we are as a people soo blinded by what we think is right and wrong that we have forgotten to see the bigger picture and understand that although we as women have more rights then in the past that we still seem to want the same things as before as do men! At least this is what I have come to believe.
Well put I’m most impressed. It’s about time O/others know more of the Daddy/babygirl relationship. So many judge those of us in them before they take the time to learn what it is all about.
I’m a Switch who has a Daddy that I love very much He makes me who I am.
And to the one who asked about Mommy Doms yes there is such things. When in my dominate mode I would be what I call a Mommy. I love My baby boy and encourage him to be the best he can be he makes me proud in all his accomplishments just as I do with Daddy.
I want to be a dominatrix in the future but the thought of having a DaddyDom over me seems really nice. i want to know if i have a DaddyDom mentor me while i train as a dominatrix would it damage my credibility in any way.
I am slowly being introduced into this lifestyle by a “soft” Daddy Dom. I am a 50 year old licensed mental health provider. Independent. “Strong.” Leaving a 20+ year “traditional,” yet emotionally abusive, marriage. As he has introduced this lifestyle to me, he has drawn the line between “our bedroom” and the rest of the time. I have spent my life being the strong one, the one EVERYONE relied on, the problem solver, the fixer, the ROCK. This wonderful man SLOWLY, LOVINGLY, GENTLY, introduced me into the concept that I could actually trust someone, a man, to take care of me, totally, completely, and I could just melt in his arms, and not think about it again. WOW! What a concept. How sad that people are put off, possibly by the phrasing of the roles. I can ask my Daddy at any given moment if we can be partners right now, with him responding, “I’d be honored.” What better way to build trust and love? For me, I think the key was finding the right Daddy for me. I’ve been reading as much literature as possible to learn all I can, to be all I can for my Daddy; I can honestly say, you have written from the heart, and most eloquently.
You explained this wonderfully. I am in a similar relationship and he is my daddy. He doesn’t abuse his control and loves me dearly. I trust him, all of his decisions are to benefit us as a whole. It requires me to have a lot of trust in him but it is also a big responsibility for him to control every aspect of our lives. It’s a beautiful thing and couldn’t see living any other way with anyone else.
I am new to the lifestyle and I have been lucky enough to find a wonderful Daddy that is perfect for me. The way you described yourself in the beginning; I felt like you were describing me. The fact that I’m so trusting and naive; mixed with my naturally submissive nature was one my biggest fears coming into the lifestyle as well. I’m really glad you broke it down the way that you did, because so many people do get it wrong. There are so many misconceptions about what goes on in D/s relationships anyway and the misconception of the DaddyDom/babygirl lifestyle is only one. Anyway you did an amazing job and I couldn’t have said it better myself.
recently i have meet a person online who is interested in DaddyDom/babygirl lifestyle , can some please help me understand it so i may be able to meet her and satisfy her needzzzzzzzzz
Read through some of the articles here or visit sites like CollarMe and FetLife to get an idea of what its all about
Best of luck to you and yours.
it was quite understood i love it .
the so called ‘sexual revolution’ was the sugar coating on the otherwise bitter pill that in socio political terms can be refered to as the ‘feminisation’ of the western world. This has been seen by some as a deliberate movement not to empower women but to disempower western white males and make it easier for western society to be subverted by..well lets just say those who want it so.. some might say zionist conspiritors… it was just one more angle of the divide and conquer methods. Male against female, young against old, rich against poor, straight agasint alternative etc etc.
in every facet of media today you have to same ‘liberal’ attitudes pushed upon us, also in our universities the subtle indoctrination, its almost anti-man and while im all for respect and equality, im against this movement to marginalise and emasculate the western white male into some sort of hate figure by these people, who then put up males form other ‘races’ or cultures as the superior altrernative. That is why the 50′s stero typical ‘daddy ‘ figure has been airbrushed out of existence and men that would otherwise naturally assume this role have largely disapated into todays more diluted, ‘acceptable’ roles.
it might not seem the place to post this comment but i thik it might help ppl further understand how difficult it can be for an otherwise natural ‘daddy or dom to get comfortable in the role because of certain ‘modern’ contrived attitudes. Sorry, speech over….
bob
Thank you for this article, it was lovely to read, and has really cleared up some things for me. I’m not in this sort of relationship, or been in any relationship, but this is something that I feel would work well for me. I found your take on D/s relationships very comforting. Maybe Ill find someone that makes me feel like that, and be someones baby. Thank you again
Natasha: Best of luck in finding the person that meets the needs you have
It can be a hard journey but don’t give up.
Bob: No reason to say you are sorry, I agree with most of what you say.
Wow! thank you. I’m new to the lifestyle. but this does sound like me thank you. Always thought myself a switch, that’s also poly event thought i have not had a poly relationship yet. resent events, would prove me to be a submissive?, this was a total shock to me! still figuring it out, but this article is very helpful.
Thank you for putting it so eloquently. My wife and I have this very same dynamic, but it is has escaped me how to explain it beyond “50s household.” God bless you.
This was greatly put…my Dom let me know right away he wanted to be my Daddy but I didnt understand. I appreciate the explanation and can’t wait for what comes next.
Your thoughts and input on this loving and so often misunderstood subject is so wonderful… the way you wrote this is everything I feel and to have it put into words so beautifuly, brings me to tears. Thank You
After being with a daddy and feeling completely sane, safe, comfortable and god how I giggled…..hehe I know this is me. All my previous experiences never satisfied me and if they did, only did so for a month. I had the opportunity to feel the comfort of a handsome strong man, (daddy) and long for it now that I’m in a vanilla relationship. I need to stop kidding myself and go crawling back to him. I was thinking about getting some lolipop tattoos to just remain true to myself.
thank you for sharing your story and self.
I liked everything about your essay….except for the last couple of sentences. I think it is unfair to criticize the sexual revolution as a reason for unhappy vanilla relationships. I think that freedom and equitable society is a good thing. I think an important, overlooked factor of freedom includes the right to surrender your freedom over to someone you trust with it. I, for one, feel very liberated by this relization. However before the sexual revolution, women were second class citizens, little more than slaves whose quality of life was entirely dependent upon their masters be it father, husband, or son. Horrible situations resulted as a product of societies suppression of women. You see this illustrated all around the world in depraved places like Iraq, Russia, China, Africa. I agree that the dynamics of the dom/sub relationship are loving, functional, and fulfilling but I don’t think it would be fair for society to enforce that dynamic upon it’s members, such as occurred in 1950s America. To me, it’s just as unjust as to dictate that we cannot have tpe in a relationship.
Thanks for the post. It’s nice to read about similar relationship dynamics to mine and my Daddy’s. I still struggle to explain ans wrap my head around the concepts and subtlies of being a little girl, a submissive or a slave. Not that it matters, the definitions are differences will be different to every person/couple, but it is helpful to try to isolate what works for me/us. Thanks again.
You’re welcome, daddysdirtyblonde. And I’m glad that you enjoyed the post.
Thank you for reading Kalika. I understand where you’re coming from but my intention wasn’t to dictate that our society must force the lifestyle that was lived before the sexual revolution. What the 1st wave movement did was awesome and gave women choice where they had none before. In the end it’s about personal choice and women shouldn’t be forced to leave the home just as they shouldn’t be forced to stay in it.
Awe, thank you ilovemydaddy. I’m glad that you enjoyed reading our experience of the DaddyDom/babygirl dynamic. If you get those tattoos, let us know. I’d like to see how they come out
You’re welcome BabyGirlB. I’m gad that they struck a chord with you. One of reasons that I wrote my feelings down is because I wanted to share how the dynamic worked for Daddy and I. It makes me really happy that you enjoyed it
Thank you, RiaRiaRe. I hope that your adventure into this lifestyle dynamic has been a good for you and your Daddy. I apologize that it has taken me so long to respond.
You’re most welcome, MidnightEditor. I’m glad that it was helpful for both you and your wife. Outside the lifestyle we still explain it as a “50′s household”, people still cringe but it’s the most acceptable explanation in modern society terms. In fact, on a funny side note my in-laws are still trying to liberate me every chance they get, even though Daddy and I are seven years into the dynamic.
Very glad that it was helpful, Monique. Daddy and I wish you all the best on your journey of self discovery
If you have any questions at all, please feel free to shoot us of an e-mail.
Thank you very much for your response, Chyna
I’m glad that you enjoyed the piece.
I just wanted to add my thanks to you for sharing your experience and your thoughts. I found your post while researching “Daddy Doms” and trying to understand more about the dynamic. I recently opened an account on Collarme, and one of the profiles I ran across was from someone who called himself a “Daddy Dom”; I admit my knee-jerk reaction was disgust, based on my automatic thought that he was referring to playacting pedophilia or some such thing.
For some reason though, maybe the wording of the email or… something… I asked what exactly he was talking about, instead of blocking him. I am glad I did, because this is an absolutely fascinating type of relationship. Do you by any chance know of any sites with more written from the Dominant’s perspective? I am trying to learn more, and I am hoping you might point me in the right direction.
Thank you,
Niteshade
I’m glad that you didn’t block him either, Niteshade
Unfortunately, there really isn’t a lot out there on the net just from the DaddyDom’s perspective. I will talk with Daddy and see if he has to the time to write about what his views are and what the experience is for him. Also, feel free to e-mail either one us at anytime if you just want to talk. 
Also, I’m going to start explaining more what daily life is like in the dynamic that we’ve created for ourselves. If you have any questions on that as well, feel free to ask 