Submissive Journal: Losing Yourself As a Submissive
Alberto Vargas, 1962
Being a submissive female, sometimes those things that as a woman you need to develop on your own gets tested when you become owned. Wanting to give yourself over to a Master/Daddy/Dom/Switch or whatever you call them is a need but it’s not something that you can do unless you spend the time getting to know who you are first.
So, what happens when you take your own self worth that took years cultivating and nurturing and put it all in someone else’s hands?
Honestly, you lose yourself but not in a bad way. Losing yourself in a consensual, long term TPE is not the same as a vanilla relationship. I do want to stress though, that there is one thing that is the same and that is you cannot expect your significant other to change who you are on the inside. You cannot expect someone else to “save” you or give you a sense of self worth if you never had one to begin with. You cannot expect someone else to stop you from being yourself.
One of my main issues as a submissive female is putting others before myself and it is often to my own detriment. I know I do it and with certain people I try not to let it happen as badly but in the end I will sacrifice taking care of myself in lieu of making sure others are cared for. In general I’ll just basically let myself become worn down. I feel selfish and guilty when I take anytime to do anything for myself and that has become more so the case since entering into a 24/7TPE. I literally lose myself to other people and have a bad habit of letting that take over my self worth.
So, losing myself to others in general is not a healthy way to live. The difference is that with Daddy losing myself to him is healthy because under his control he will protect me from losing myself to other people. (Notice I said protect and not force. You cannot take an orange and force it to be an apple) He monitors me and those around me and pulls me in when he sees the need to do so. With Daddy, I have someone who will not change me but who will help me help myself. In essence, losing myself to him is more like being found than lost.
I lose myself to him because I choose to, because I trust in him as a Daddy and as a person. I lose myself into his dominance, his protection, his nurturing and his love in wanting not just the best for himself but in him wanting the best for me as well.
~surrender4love~
2 Responses to “Submissive Journal: Losing Yourself As a Submissive”
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© 2008 - 2010 Social Perversion
At no point do I want you to loose yourself so much that you are no longer you. The things you do that annoy me most are also the reasons I love you so much, hold on to those.
–BloodLustDaddy
Wow. I enjoyed reading this and it’s clearly illustrated the relationship I have with my Daddy. We both feel like I could have written it myself. Thank you for sharing! I am new to this whole world of D/s and am very happy to be starting this journey, as it’s making our relationship very strong and meaningful.