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DaddyDoms are Human Too
First, let’s cover the required disclaimer: This blog is a personal blog. It is written from personal experience and that means it will include personal opinions. In no way do I nor Daddy advocate anything we do in our lives to be the only way to do things, as it is not. What we do may work for you, which is great and what we do may not work for you which is also great. Moving on…
One of the reasons that the relationship Daddy and I have works so well is because we both keep in mind that the other one is a human being. As human’s we have mood swings, good days and bad days. We are also two different people with different personality quirks. Some of those quirks are based on gender and some of those quirks are based on just personality alone.
Sometimes, as a submissive female and a babygirl I need more attention at different times than I normally do. Sometimes Daddy is unable to give that attention. When I start to feel that way, I simply let him know “I need some attention, I’m feeling insecure” and if he has time then he will give me that attention but if he does not have the time then I have to accept that and self sooth. This is just an example to highlight the main point and that point is: DaddyDom’s are Human Too.
DaddyDom’s, just like regular Dom’s are human and as such they can only do so much in a day and still survive in our society. They are not super human people who can “fix” everything that the babygirl or submissive wants them to fix.
As a babygirl, I choose to give Daddy power over me and more than that he becomes responsible for me as well. That’s a lot of pressure for someone to take on. Some of you out there who have kids know what I’m taking about. Being responsible for and to another human being is not easy. There is the providing for, nurturing, taking care of, worrying, following up on and protecting. Sometimes it can all be too much, to overwhelming more so if he’s had a hard day at work.
This is something about Daddy that I honor. I don’t press or push when he’s had a bad day. I try to control my own emotional needs sometimes to give him some breathing space. I respect him as not just my Daddy, but as a man with responsibilities trying to do the best that he can in today’s world. I see him as a human being not a saviour.
Many submissive males and females, even one’s with submissive personality traits in a non-lifestyle relationship, have a tendency to believe that just because they give another person power over them that the DaddyDom, Dom, Top or what have you will automatically make everything better. And in some ways they can but there are many things that the dominant one in a relationship cannot do and those are as follows.
DaddyDoms Cannot:
1. Make you happy, they can help you work on it but they alone are not responsible for your sole happiness. You are.
2. Turn you into someone you are not. If you have no idea who you are as a person, then take the time you need to figure it out before you enter into any relationship.
3. Solve every issue you may have with friends/family/co-workers. At some point socially you are on your own and he cannot be everywhere at all times just for you only when you need him to be.
4. Fix your self-esteem. Again, they can help you work on it but how you feel about yourself is ultimately up to you and no matter how many times you’re told that you are beautiful, the only one who can believe it is you.
5. Give you everything you want when you want it. Being a babygirl means having innocent qualities and needing to be nurtured in an adult relationship. It does not give you a free ride to whine and act out like a brat when you don’t get what you want like a toddler would.
These are just some basic areas where a DaddyDom will fail if those are things that you expect from one.
A Response: DaddyDom-What it means for his babygirl
This post that I wrote explaining for me what the whole DaddyDom dynamic is, has generated a lot of responses from people around the globe. Neither one of us expected that but both of us are very happy that the explanation struck a cord with so many people.
Some of you out there thanked us for putting into words either what you were looking for, or for creating an explanation for the lifestyle that you were already living. On the other side of that perspective, some of you were upset that we equated a 1950’s style home life to wanting to reverse the sexual revolution that started the first wave of feminism.
I appreciate all comments to anything that I write. Even comments that are of a different opinion because various views on topics is what keeps conversation going. It is also a great way to practice being open-minded and to remain open so that we can all learn from each other.
Myself, I’m a feminist. One would not think that automatically based on the lifestyle that I choose to live but the keyword there is “choose”. I can stand behind what the feminist movement first stood for but not for what the movement has become. I’ll get more into that in a post that focuses on that topic.
I’ll also get more into what living the DaddyDom/babygirl dynamic means for both Daddy and I in another post, dedicated to that topic.
As with all posts that we publish here at SocialPerversion, everything is how it relates to us and the way we choose to live. Personal opinion will be discussed but that in no way means any of what we write about is the only way to do things. All of us have choice and personal preferences. It’s the variations in how we all live our lives that makes things interesting. 
The Owl and the Pussy Cat…
Owl and Pussy Cat
Surrender4love looks up to me as daddy, mentor, tutor, master, provider and when she fails or does not do as requested of her then judge, juror and executioner of sorts. I have never been the sort of person to want a pre-trained submissive because my rules, desires and preferences are different than the person they may have learned from.
As her daddy I also act as her wise (not so old) owl to guide her and help her grow into a better and more structured person, to help her embrace her submission, creativity and free spirit.
She brings into my life the simple things that she falls in love with like the leaves as they change color, the rain on a summers day, the grass stains on the bottom of her feet and catching snowflakes on the tongue. As the provider I often do not notice these things in the rush to provide for the family and do what needs to be done… the little things in life that we should be enjoying get missed on a daily basis until I hear her little giggle or gasp of awe.
DaddyDom: What it means for his baby girl
I think there are a lot of people who have misconceptions about the DaddyDom/baby girl concept of a relationship. I’ve noticed that even within the lifestyle community, many people look down on this aspect because they carry over the misconceptions from the vanilla world. Also, as with all human nature there is a tendency to attack what is not understood and I find that this goes on in any sub-culture social network just as it does with mainstream society.
Let’s start off by taking a look at what a DaddyDom/baby girl relationship is NOT about.
It is not about incest
It is not about degradation
It is not about pedophilia
It is not about total psychological manipulation
It is not about slavery
It is not about sexual Freudian ideals
Now that above is out of the way, I am going to explain what being a in a DaddyDom/baby girl relationship is all about for me. I realize that everyone’s experience is different and I am not advocating what goes on in my relationship as being a standard in any way. I am just going over what personally works about this aspect of the lifestyle for me. You may agree and you may disagree, both of which you have the right to do. And as consenting adults in a lifestyle relationship what we do with ours is our right as well.
…read full article…
submissive journal: On wanting a sister
This journal entry comes from Daddy wanting me to explain why I want a sister, meaning having a poly D/s relationship addition for the long term.
Three things that I have always been that will not be changing: Pagan, Poly and Submissive. Those are three cornerstones that make up my personality and my existence.
I was raised as a Pagan and I have never been anything else. Being Pagan, gives me the understanding that as women we are not as our modern society wants to create us to be. We are all beautiful and a part of the world just as we are a part of each other. Women can enhance one another, support one another in ways that men cannot. I see all women as being apart of one another; what I do not see is the need to be made or manipulated into being something that we are not. For example, women do not naturally look like Barbie and we should not be thrown (or throw ourselves) into some societal pseudo-competition in order to look that way. We are all different shapes, weights and colors and that in itself is truly beautiful. You don’t see an Oak tree getting all upset because a willow bends more in the wind because it’s thinner… modern female competition is unneeded, unnatural and unfounded.
…read full article…
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