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submissive journal: On wanting a sister
This journal entry comes from Daddy wanting me to explain why I want a sister, meaning having a poly D/s relationship addition for the long term.
Three things that I have always been that will not be changing: Pagan, Poly and Submissive. Those are three cornerstones that make up my personality and my existence.
I was raised as a Pagan and I have never been anything else. Being Pagan, gives me the understanding that as women we are not as our modern society wants to create us to be. We are all beautiful and a part of the world just as we are a part of each other. Women can enhance one another, support one another in ways that men cannot. I see all women as being apart of one another; what I do not see is the need to be made or manipulated into being something that we are not. For example, women do not naturally look like Barbie and we should not be thrown (or throw ourselves) into some societal pseudo-competition in order to look that way. We are all different shapes, weights and colors and that in itself is truly beautiful. You don’t see an Oak tree getting all upset because a willow bends more in the wind because it’s thinner… modern female competition is unneeded, unnatural and unfounded.
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Evolution
I cannot pinpoint the exact moment that it happened. Our relationship did not just morph from Sir/girl to Daddy/baby girl over the course of an evening. The change was slow and I see it as a relationship evolution; something that we adapted to because we changed along with the change in dynamic.
If this had been a couple of years ago, I more than likely would have freaked out. I had preconceived notions of what a “DaddyDom” was. I was afraid what that might represent and I didn’t think at the time that I was capable of handling such a thing emotionally. Now, at this current stage… I can look back and see that my fears were unfounded.
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The death of Sir, the birth of Daddy…
It was never what I expected to happen, the term “DaddyDom” was something that always made me think of extreme age play, diapers and really unsavory thoughts… the type that make you shiver in the middle of your back with disgust. When my girl and I first got together it was agreed that “DaddyDom” was something neither of us were interested in and we agreed the thought was a huge turnoff.
We had spoken at length many times over the similarities of a parental figure and a dominant with the structure, discipline, providing needs and encouragement for growth. I provide her all the essential requirements for life; have her focus on health, education and happiness rather than providing extra income. When she is sick I am responsible for making sure that she gets better, I support her on her personal and spiritual growth. I encourage and foster her creative side while discouraging negative behavior. In many ways my tasks as her dominant are much like the tasks of a loving parent.
It happened so fluidly, naturally and was triggered by an almost joking session of role playing. We had read an entry on one of the forums relating to a girl calling her Dom by the title of “Daddy” and decided to play out the role for some sexual fun that night… this was almost 7 months ago and it was a lot of fun. The role play did not feel as weird as we thought it would and was extremely satisfying. After the play we agreed that we both liked it and that in the future if I called her “baby girl” that she was to fall into that frame of mind for play. We had only made this arrangement for play and never expected to see any flake of it outside of the bedroom.
It is still surprising how it happened because neither of us even noticed it at the time, a whispered “I love you daddy” or “your a good little girl” while out to dinner, a giggled “was I a good girl daddy?” or “you make daddy proud” slipped into our daily flirting with each other. As time went by it kept appearing more and more in our daily dealings with each other and the “smack, spank, blood and bruises” Sir that had been so prevalent in the beginning stopped being the norm. Neither of us were consciously aware of the frequency it was happening until it fell across my ears this weekend while we were out.
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There’s a God with a whip!
Beltane by Sharyn Turner
No, I don’t mean that God. Set your minds lower to the dirtier, animalistic side of the spiritual; the Pagan side. My Horned God and all that is male centered with the universe as a whole comes to me through BloodLustDaddy. He is my physical male representative of the divine and it’s not all because he whips me. When I look at him and obey him, in a sense I am falling in line under the will of his spirit and in doing so, I honor my own spirit as well.
Our sexual and personality preferences are not something that we can detach. The same goes for our spirituality, it is not a detachable or an interchangeable aspect of who we are… it just simply is who we are.
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The requirement of spirituality….
Photo courtesy of:
I think it is time I delve a bit deeper into what it is that makes our relationship so special. BDSM, D/s, M/s, Bondage, Pet Play, Blood Play, Bruises and ropes are just a small part of what makes our relationship so special. All of the above are fun in and of themselves but both of us are very “self aware”, our relationship is not just about blood, beatings and sex… its also about spirituality.
Many people are happy and content to just be slapped around and have a cock shoved down their throat, if this was the depth of my interests I live in a state where prostitution is completely legal and you can get any kink filled for the right amount of money. My life and relationship has a major focus on self-improvement and spirituality so the aggressive and violent stuff is just a bonus not the end goal.
We find the spirituality of BDSM to complement deeply our views on things like Green Living, Chakra Energy, Paganism (not Wiccan), Health Awareness and improving ourselves through understanding of our strengths and weaknesses. Anyone wishing to join in with us must be willing to look into themselves and be comfortable with what they find.
Keep reading to find out what sort of people are unacceptable for more than sexual play and why they are unacceptable…
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Living with an unreasonable man
BloodLustDaddy is opinionated, strong in his core values and unshakable in compromise. His way of life, is truly “My way or the highway”. His unreasonable nature is for me, one of the greatest things about him and what makes him an ideal Dom. He is made for dominance and he owns that aspect of himself.
Too many people skim over the surface of life being unsure of what they want. Not knowing who they are or where they stand on things; not so with BloodLustDaddy. I never have to worry about him not making a decision on anything. I never have to worry about him not allowing his dominance to be a part of everyday life. I never have to be put in the position of “toping from the bottom” in order to get through the day to day things of life; something that I have dealt with from men in past relationships.
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A new collar for kitten…
On CollarMe.com and Bondage.com I see lots of people asking what collar they should get for their submissive. I feel that right away these people are asking the wrong question. The question is not what collar should you get but what sort of collar is appropriate to your environment and community. Some people have the advantage of living in large forward thinking communities where a 3 inch thick band of metal around a persons neck would draw nothing more then a quick glance, others live in small religious communities where anything that even looks like a choker would draw lots of looks and questions.
The dilemma that I had while choosing what material would encircle surrender4love’s neck is the social environment we live in. As much as I would have loved to wrap a thick piece of metal with a huge padlock around her neck, proclaiming to the world that she was owned in more ways than just in a relationship, it did not fit into the type of community we live in. I choose to go with a thick spiral chain necklace from Bico Las Vegas (chosen and placed on her neck while we were visiting Vegas on a holiday). I removed the clasp from the necklace and replaced it with some small chain links in the back. There are times when we go out of town and I want her to wear a collar that is thick and draws attention, during these times I place her pink “love” leather collar or the red/brown thick leather collar around her neck.
surrender4love’s journal entry: Sunday 7/13/2008
Personally, I feel that in our day to day relationship that having expectations are harder to keep up with than rules. Before I get started on that topic, I do want to say that what follows are my personal thoughts and feelings on the matter. I am in no way saying that one way is better or worse. I am just stating what works for our relationship.
With the rules you have punishment. Rules are set and not always maintained leading to punishment. Now, this is not to say that BloodLustDaddy does not whip me just for amusement because he does and he does have the right to punish me when he sees fit which can be outside of the rules being set. What I am saying here, is that in my view point the biggest reason for lists of rules within a relationship is to manage punishments in a way to keep punishments happening. I am not saying that a sub/slave needs to be punished all the time but there is something about punishments that a sub/slave needs or they would not get into the lifestyle in the first place. Also, a Dom/Master who has a perfect sub/slave with no punishments ever required doesn’t fulfill their need to punish beyond exerting basic control.
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The basics…
Rules, god I hate rules as they are only useful if they are truly enforced. Many BDSM relationships are filled with rules, checklists, questionnaires and contracts so people tend to be surprised when they find that in my dealing with surrender4love I have taken a more minimalistic approach to rules.
Rule #1 : My way may not be the best way, the fastest way or even the correct way but it is the only acceptable way.
Rule #2 : “No” is never an acceptable response to a command that is given.
Rule #3 : Do as I say.
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