Now, I know a lot of people are going to disagree. We may get a bunch of comments from people saying that just because they are female that it doesn’t make them prey.  If you do disagree, that’s okay and that’s your opinion. However, this is our blog and I’m the one doing the writing from my perspective. Back to my topic…

I don’t like that I am prey. It’s not something that I am comfortable with. I don’t like that people of both sexes try to lie and manipulate me. I don’t like that the men I meet picture having sex with me; that they imagine bending me to their will. No, I don’t like it all but regardless it is true. I am prey. I am creature that others prey upon.

I notice it now more that I’m older. Since Daddy pointed out that I was prey and shared his theory on the subject, it has helped me to be more proactive about getting away from predators in the outside world.

This past weekend is an excellent example of what life can be like when you notice that your prey. We stayed at a casino and there was some time where I was left alone. I was followed, approached, propositioned and even gave all my smokes away. I even ended up giving lady ten dollars to leave me alone. I’m not proud of it but that particular woman had followed me for over an hour and I had just had enough. I gave her the money, she sat down to play and I made my break for it.

When Daddy and I got back together, all of it stopped. Well, one predator made a bee line for me and Daddy stepped in front of me and the guy turned and went the other direction. The rest of the evening though we were free to enjoy each others company. It seems the protective vibe he gives off works, I’m not sure how but it does and for that I am very grateful.

Yes, I am prey but that also makes me cherished and protected. It’s the latter that makes the rest of it bearable.

I know that there are many men who struggle with the power balance we are supposed to have in today’s world, just as many women do. Gender does not automatically make one a dominant or submissive person as it can be based on personality type alone. More and more we have choice and freedom from traditional gender roles in our modern world and that’s a very beautiful thing … but before I skitter off on different topic, let’s get back to this article.

The article is written by woman for the site and I think that all around she did a good job with the subject material. She does cover the issue of male/female equality a bit and I will admit that I don’t fully agree with the entire piece but on the topic of a submissive woman I think she was spot on. Here is an excerpt:

It’s important to keep in mind, however, that women who don’t mind relinquishing their power in the bedroom and in the relationship are doing this consciously; they are willingly abandoning themselves to their man’s desires and letting him call the shots. This does not make them weak, intellectually inferior or less deserving of respect than men. – Women’s Sexuality Consultant

That part I totally agree with. Also, I feel that it is an important statement. There are many times when I’ve come across a D/s situation with males and females on either side where the Dom asserts themselves in way that clearly shows that they view the submissive as inferior. Worse yet are the situations where the Dom thinks force is the only way to go and that the submissive is only a subbie when they only do things their not actually willing to do.

A submissive in the lifestyle can enjoy various types of play. Some forms can be really degrading but at the end of the day, even in a 24/7 lifestyle relationship the submitting is done because the submissive person allows it to be done. If the submissive does not submit and is forced that’s when abusive territory is entered.

Some of you out there thanked us for putting into words either what you were looking for, or for creating an explanation for the lifestyle that you were already living. On the other side of that perspective, some of you were upset that we equated a 1950’s style home life to wanting to reverse the sexual revolution that started the first wave of feminism.

I appreciate all comments to anything that I write. Even comments that are of a different opinion because various views on topics is what keeps conversation going. It is also a great way to practice being open-minded and to remain open so that we can all learn from each other.

Myself, I’m a feminist. One would not think that automatically based on the lifestyle that I choose to live but the keyword there is “choose”. I can stand behind what the feminist movement first stood for but not for what the movement has become. I’ll get more into that in a post that focuses on that topic.

I’ll also get more into what living the DaddyDom/babygirl dynamic means for both Daddy and I in another post, dedicated to that topic.

As with all posts that we publish here at SocialPerversion, everything is how it relates to us and the way we choose to live. Personal opinion will be discussed but that in no way means any of what we write about is the only way to do things. All of us have choice and personal preferences. It’s the variations in how we all live our lives that makes things interesting.

Alberto Vargas, 1962

Being a submissive female, sometimes those things that as a woman you need to develop on your own gets tested when you become owned. Wanting to give yourself over to a Master/Daddy/Dom/Switch or whatever you call them is a need but it’s not something that you can do unless you spend the time getting to know who you are first.

So, what happens when you take your own self worth that took years cultivating and nurturing and put it all in someone else’s hands?

Honestly, you lose yourself but not in a bad way. Losing yourself in a consensual, long term TPE is not the same as a vanilla relationship. I do want to stress though, that there is one thing that is the same and that is you cannot expect your significant other to change who you are on the inside. You cannot expect someone else to “save” you or give you a sense of self worth if you never had one to begin with. You cannot expect someone else to stop you from being yourself.

One of my main issues as a submissive female is putting others before myself and it is often to my own detriment. I know I do it and with certain people I try not to let it happen as badly but in the end I will sacrifice taking care of myself in lieu of making sure others are cared for. In general I’ll just basically let myself become worn down. I feel selfish and guilty when I take anytime to do anything for myself and that has become more so the case since entering into a 24/7TPE.  I literally lose myself to other people and have a bad habit of letting that take over my self worth.

So, losing myself to others in general is not a healthy way to live. The difference is that with Daddy  losing myself to him  is healthy because under his control he will protect me from losing myself to other people. (Notice I said protect and not force. You cannot take an orange and force it to be an apple) He monitors me and those around me and pulls me in when he sees the need to do so. With Daddy, I have someone who will not change me but who will help me help myself. In essence, losing myself to him is more like being found than lost.

I lose myself to him because I choose to, because I trust in him as a Daddy and as a person.  I lose myself into his dominance, his protection, his nurturing and his love in wanting not just the best for himself but in him wanting the best for me as well.

~surrender4love~

Owl and Pussy Cat

Surrender4love looks up to me as daddy, mentor, tutor, master, provider and when she fails or does not do as requested of her then judge, juror and executioner of sorts. I have never been the sort of person to want a pre-trained submissive because my rules, desires and preferences are different than the person they may have learned from.

As her daddy I also act as her wise (not so old) owl to guide her and help her grow into a better and more structured person, to help her embrace her submission, creativity and free spirit.

She brings into my life the simple things that she falls in love with like the leaves as they change color, the rain on a summers day, the grass stains on the bottom of her feet and catching snowflakes on the tongue. As the provider I often do not notice these things in the rush to provide for the family and do what needs to be done… the little things in life that we should be enjoying get missed on a daily basis until I hear her little giggle or gasp of awe.

Like a good little babygirl she is always happy to see me, running up for hugs and kisses, speaking about things that excite her at 100 words a second and coming up just to randomly brush her hand against me for the physical contact.

It is easy to forget in a D/s relationship dynamic that everyone involved brings something important into the relationship just as everyone involved has to sacrifice to keep the relationship and family alive.

Surrender4love sacrifices in her choice to allow me to control her life, in following my decision that she work from home, in following my demands that the house be clean, in prepping dinner every night and waking the family during the day… she gives up parts of herself to ensure that others in the household are provided for on an emotional and spiritual level.

I work to provide roof and sustenance to the family, to ensure that our lights are on and the heat is paid. I analyze the direction we need to go and make sure that everyone is united towards the same goal. I do my best to make sure that babygirl does not forget to take time to be creative by writing and doing her artwork. I remind her when she is focusing so much on others that she begins to forget the things that are important to her.

Though this is a D/s relationship it is not, and will never be, a one sided relationship. She brings as much into the relationship as I do and sacrifices just as much as I do… we have a real world relationship that requires more than a “fuck me” dom dynamic.

I greatly value what she brings to the relationship because through her eyes (though she is the same age as I) I see the happy things in life and am able to smile at the sight of two small birds fighting over a large twig, things I would not have noticed if not for her.

She is sitting next to me right this moment and is starting to cry… that’s another important thing she brings in, the raw emotion fed by love and happiness.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

The scientific community feels that being dominate is a positive human trait while being submissive is not. They align being submissive alongside depression as a personality disorder that needs to be cured. One way in which they want to cure the “submissive gene” is through medication and what better way to develop a human medication directed at manipulating our brains than through the old standard of lab mice using only one form of basic testing.

The basic test is called the Water Test. What they do is take five mice and place them in a cage with a short supply of water. The naturally dominant mice go after the water until one dominant mouse is the only one in control of the water. The remaining mice who did not attempt to challenge the dominant are labeled as naturally submissive as they chose to defer to the dominant mouse in lieu of taking life preserving water. The dominant mice that lost out to the one victorious dominant mouse are placed back into general groupings of five to test how many can persevere and gain water supremacy.

The basic testing concept is simple enough. Basic animal instincts for survival and all that and it is not behavior that is surprising at all. However, while holding onto a misguided ideal that humans are somehow superior to the rest of the planets animals the scientific community feels that humans should not hold back their survival instinct to defer to a dominant but rather that we should all be dominant. Having all humans be dominant makes no sense to me because our societal structure certainly does not support that ideal.

The goal is to use the DSR behavioral model in developing medication to make the human “submissive gene” controllable. The medications developed are advertised and prescribed not as anti-submissive medication but as anti-depressants. Yet another reason to do more research into something when your regular doctor just wants to write you a script. Also, I will admit into being a tad angry in learning that my natural mental state is seen as a mental disorder and not only that but due to the way that I am the scientific community decrees that I’m just really depressed and need to be fixed in some way. My DaddyDom is the only cure that I need and I am the one who choses that, not some doctor who deems me socially inept for being submissive.

If you want to learn more about the “submissive gene” and the testing that is going on to cure submissive people, please visit the following links:
Effect of verapamil on submissive behavior in genetically bred hypercholinergic rats in a water competition test.
Submissive mice might help fight depression
Reduction of submissive behavior in rats
Dominant–submissive behavior as models of mania and depression

~surrender4love

What happened inside, what I felt is beyond words for me. I felt, yes. I felt more than I ever have in my life with my body exploding in different directions all at the same time. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. I had no control over the movement of my body at all. I was in his complete control.

And all I can think of now…is to hope that I am enough of a good girl to do it again.

~surrender4love

Three things that I have always been that will not be changing: Pagan, Poly and Submissive. Those are three cornerstones that make up my personality and my existence.

I was raised as a Pagan and I have never been anything else. Being Pagan, gives me the understanding that as women we are not as our modern society wants to create us to be. We are all beautiful and a part of the world just as we are a part of each other. Women can enhance one another, support one another in ways that men cannot. I see all women as being apart of one another; what I do not see is the need to be made or manipulated into being something that we are not. For example, women do not naturally look like Barbie and we should not be thrown (or throw ourselves) into some societal pseudo-competition in order to look that way. We are all different shapes, weights and colors and that in itself is truly beautiful. You don’t see an Oak tree getting all upset because a willow bends more in the wind because it’s thinner… modern female competition is unneeded, unnatural and unfounded.

Being ploy, I understand that it is possible for adults to have more than one loving relationship at a time. I feel that it is when we separate that love and compartmentalize it, is when people run into issues. The reason, I feel that many relationships fail is because one partner will try to keep two separate partners running at the same time… this separation does not allow for a relationship to flow. A relationship between two people is enhanced by becoming a relationship between three people or more. Human beings enhance one another on a natural basis. Plus, there is that added bonus of more people… more kink but I think that with the nature of this site that’s subject is implied.

As a submissive, I have a drive to please and a high level of vulnerability. Having a submissive sister added to our relationship would enhance both our submissive natures and Daddy’s dominance. In regards to this aspect, it really is that simply stated because I view it as a simple subject. Should we find that elusive woman to add to our relationship, she would have to be submissive and be open to having a DaddyDom.

Now, when I label having a woman join us for the long term as a sister it is because that is what is being looked for. Sure, I want to have another submissive to enjoy and to share with Daddy. Someone to be tied up with me and someone who can pleasure Daddy and myself as well, while being pleasured themselves. I also want someone to have a conversation with. Someone who is a woman in her own right because that for me is what makes the experience in the sexual side of things that much greater. Someone who understands an artistic submissive temperament and someone who wants a DaddyDom. Someone who wants to be trapped but isn’t trapped by the Christianized and societal standard of what a woman is.

~surrender4love
daddy’s baby girl

Beltane by Sharyn Turner

No, I don’t mean that God. Set your minds lower to the dirtier, animalistic side of the spiritual; the Pagan side. My Horned God and all that is male centered with the universe as a whole comes to me through BloodLustDaddy. He is my physical male representative of the divine and it’s not all because he whips me. When I look at him and obey him, in a sense I am falling in line under the will of his spirit and in doing so, I honor my own spirit as well.

Our sexual and personality preferences are not something that we can detach. The same goes for our spirituality, it is not a detachable or an interchangeable aspect of who we are… it just simply is who we are.

I do understand that there are some people who won’t understand this concept and that’s okay. For me though, being submissive and under BloodLustDaddy’s command is not at all unlike that of being a rock polished or carved by the force of water. I see both of us as pure forces of nature. We are as natural as the Earth and in keeping with the laws of the natural world we share that balance that exists all around us but is rarely honored or set free in the constrained mainstream world that our society has created. His dominance balances me and fuels the fire of who I really am. BloodLustDaddy’s ownership of me makes me a better submissive, a better woman and a better person on all planes of existence.

There is a beauty in being unable to separate our spirituality with our D/s lifestyle. We have freedom in and through each other because of BDSM being a regular part of everyday life and not just something we do every few years. Honestly, I don’t think that now I could handle not having the lifestyle being our LIFESTYLE.

Such things as Chakra alignment and channeling energy through each other’s bodies is apart of what we do, along with exploring the events and experiences that make up all of the little pieces inside us as humans. We exude spirituality in every little thing we do because we accept that spirit energy that makes up the core of who we are in conjunction with the mundane physical world that we live in. D/s, BDSM, Paganism and universal energy all align with one another to support our spirits from the inside. You can think of it a little, as the ribbon that runs through a corset piercing.

I think it is time I delve a bit deeper into what it is that makes our relationship so special. BDSM, D/s, M/s, Bondage, Pet Play, Blood Play, Bruises and ropes are just a small part of what makes our relationship so special. All of the above are fun in and of themselves but both of us are very “self aware”, our relationship is not just about blood, beatings and sex… its also about spirituality.

Many people are happy and content to just be slapped around and have a cock shoved down their throat, if this was the depth of my interests I live in a state where prostitution is completely legal and you can get any kink filled for the right amount of money. My life and relationship has a major focus on self-improvement and spirituality so the aggressive and violent stuff is just a bonus not the end goal.

We find the spirituality of BDSM to complement deeply our views on things like Green Living, Chakra Energy, Paganism (not Wiccan), Health Awareness and improving ourselves through understanding of our strengths and weaknesses. Anyone wishing to join in with us must be willing to look into themselves and be comfortable with what they find.

Keep reading to find out what sort of people are unacceptable for more than sexual play and why they are unacceptable…

I am a man who believes that through self-improvement on a spiritual level we are able to face our fears, realize our desires and find happiness on even the darkest days. My time is valuable and I don’t have the time needed to improve someones view of themselves. I do not have the time to build up the self-esteem of someone who joins the BDSM lifestyle, in order to validate their own depreciated view of themselves. The “Pretty Princess” also needs not apply. I have no interest in breaking down false walls you have created to insulate yourself from your feelings and how others view you. If you feel that your pussy feels so good that you will be able to control me you are highly mistaken. There are many pussies out there who are able to offer the respect I demand and I have yet to meet a pussy that was worth the attitude, take your “spoiled brat slave” persona and go fuck yourself. Miss “I demand respect” slave is another persona that can go hang yourself, our relationship is built on respect and the fact that you have been allowed into the relationship shows that I respect you. When I tell you to get on all fours and lick out my asshole it does not mean I don’t respect you. However, if you get upset because I haven’t taken you to meet my parents or don’t take you out to a nice dinner once a week it’s a case of you mistaking the power your pussy has on me. When you agree to wear my collar and call me master, the vanilla rules no longer apply. Don’t expect me to treat you by the superficial rules that I refuse to live by. I am also not interested in the “Punish me” Catholic dropouts. My place is not to punish you for your past sins, I am not your Saviour and if you expect my belt to ease your way into heaven then I am the wrong person to deal with; you need to speak to a priest, not a master.

I respect a person who kneels before me, displays my collar on their neck and allows me to control their life. Wearing my collar is signing on for the whole gambit and I would be disrespecting you and myself if I did not embrace who I am and the life that you agree to live. If you find enjoyment in being a slave or a submissive and I treat you like a vanilla girlfriend would that be respectful to either of us? If you agree to be a slave then do not get all bent out of shape when I treat you that way. If you agree to be a submissive do not get upset when I treat you as a submissive… this is not the vanilla world and if you want a boyfriend then get your ass out of my house and go to the bar.

This is where the spirituality comes in: if you are someone who is healthy, comfortable with your body and yourself as a person then I am interested in meeting you. Someone who is healthy, happy, content, confident and not poisoned by a false sense of entitlement is someone who I can connect with, someone who is interested not just in the pain and pleasure but in improving themselves spiritually. If you have holdups in regards to your sexuality, body, health or personality how do you expect to find happiness? These are all things that stand directly in our path to happiness. There is nothing as beautiful as the full body orgasm of a woman who has shed all of her insecurities and inhibitions. All of our insecurities effect our sexuality because we are sexual beings, if we fear ourselves, our bodies, our thoughts or what others think about us we are sacrificing our own happiness and sexuality for false ideals established in us by society. I want someone who is willing and able to look into themselves and work to resolve these underlying issues, the person does not have to have reached the acceptance point yet but they must be willing to work on it and not be afraid of what they find.

Someone who joins us will be expected to speak at length about their childhood, past relationships and insecurities. This is something that will happen and it takes a very special person to be able to do this. Our spirituality includes meditation, Chakrology, self-awareness and self-improvement. We do not expect you to worship our gods as that is a personal matter but we do beleive heavily in the “Id, ego and Super-Ego” and “BodyMind” connection described by Sigmund Freud and John Money. Sexuality and spirituality go hand in hand and if you are unable to truly look at yourself spiritually, emotionally or physically then you will be unable to handle the depth of our relationship.

For someone coming into our lives for more than play you should know that I am a demanding man. Expect to be treated as a slave or submissive, expect to face your inner demons and expect to be held to a path of spirituality, our relationship is about personal growth and we will not allow someone who is afraid of themselves and stagnant in their personal growth to limit where we are going.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~