Twitter me this, Twitter me that
submissive journal: September 10th 2008 - How do you ask for forgiveness to the one you serve?
Thank you to Luna over at Sensual Service for this evening’s journal prompt. For those who do not know, Sensual Service is Luna’s site dedicate to being a submissive woman’s guide created by submissives.
How do I personally ask Daddy for forgiveness? Well, to be completely honest I do not ask Daddy for forgiveness. I apologize for my actions and convey how I understand what I did wrong but I don’t just come out and ask for forgiveness.
…read full article…
submissive journal: September 4th 2008, Creativity and Submission
Yesterday, I touched on feeling more accepting of my submissive side when I have creative freedom. I’ve given the subject a lot of thought since yesterday and have come to a personal conclusion.
At the core of what makes me who I am is creativity. Being creative has allowed me to fill the void of what I feel is missing inside of myself. There is a problem with that part of me now and I am trying to resolve it so that both my creative free spirit side and submissive side mesh.
…read full article…
submissive journal: September 3rd 2008
Today is much better than yesterday. Daddy and I got to talk, although it ended around three a.m. It was still very nice to communicate back and forth. From noon on he gave me the day to be creative, that will be carried over until tomorrow because there are things that popped up today time wise that took that time he wanted me to use away.
Surprisingly, I am finding that I am feeling more accepting of my submissive side given the ideal of a little creative freedom. I am not sure why that is but I will look into the causes and such for tomorrow’s entry.
~~surrender4love
submissive journal: September 2nd 2008
I miss my journal. This past week has been really hard on me and without having the time to explore, express and then discuss things with Daddy… well, it had me feeling like a walking shadow when no direct contact was made.
I’m one of those people who needs a moment to separate what I am doing, such as cleaning or cooking or sewing and actually open my mind up not to what needs to be done but being able to just think about something other than what needs to be done. My day to day life revolves around what I need to do and what Daddy expects of me not what I want to do or what my thoughts are on certain things. Because my mind travels over things at a rapid pace, if I do not focus on what needs to be done then things do not get done and I end up in a spiral of jumping thoughts and actions.
…read full article…
submissive journal: Interesting Dream
I had an interesting dream last night that Daddy wanted me to share. The dream started with a clearing of land surround by a pine forest. In the clearing there were a series of yurts connected together to form an extended honey comb type structure. These yurts were the rooms that made up our home. One was the kitchen; one was the dining room, living room and so on. The center yurt was the main bedroom that had a large bed in it, big enough to hold five adults.
Living there we had Daddy, me and three other women. We lived communally as sisters all under Daddy’s control. One woman was named Anna and she had blond hair, another woman had red hair and I do not remember her name, while the last woman had a rainbow type thing going on with her hair and it was like that because Daddy was making her grow it out and wouldn’t let her dye it anymore. We grew our own food, lived by a fresh water creek and had a small barn with a cow, pigs and chickens. We all worked together to live off the land and to live in harmony with the nature that surrounded us.
…read full article…
submissive journal: reaction to squirting
Daddy has control of me. His control reaches beyond my conscious mind and I will admit that is a little scary. However, I did not fully understand that level of control until he made me squirt and experience a full body orgasm.
What happened inside, what I felt is beyond words for me. I felt, yes. I felt more than I ever have in my life with my body exploding in different directions all at the same time. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. I had no control over the movement of my body at all. I was in his complete control.
And all I can think of now…is to hope that I am enough of a good girl to do it again.
~surrender4love
submissive journal: On wanting a sister
This journal entry comes from Daddy wanting me to explain why I want a sister, meaning having a poly D/s relationship addition for the long term.
Three things that I have always been that will not be changing: Pagan, Poly and Submissive. Those are three cornerstones that make up my personality and my existence.
I was raised as a Pagan and I have never been anything else. Being Pagan, gives me the understanding that as women we are not as our modern society wants to create us to be. We are all beautiful and a part of the world just as we are a part of each other. Women can enhance one another, support one another in ways that men cannot. I see all women as being apart of one another; what I do not see is the need to be made or manipulated into being something that we are not. For example, women do not naturally look like Barbie and we should not be thrown (or throw ourselves) into some societal pseudo-competition in order to look that way. We are all different shapes, weights and colors and that in itself is truly beautiful. You don’t see an Oak tree getting all upset because a willow bends more in the wind because it’s thinner… modern female competition is unneeded, unnatural and unfounded.
…read full article…
surrender4love journal: our rape scene last night
Now, I have been raped before. Unwilling, forced and being completely emotionally terrified has all happened to me before. Not during a scene and not with anyone that I would have wanted to do a scene like that with.
Last night, we did our first forced rape scene. He told me to fight him and I did. He was aggressive and overbearing, mean and just in the mind set of taking it; which he did. I gave him a hard time of it. With one hand I kept squirming out of the rope, using the strength of my legs to keep moving away and trying to force my legs together. Had we been in an area in which we could have gone all out the rape and fighting would have been much more violent.
…read full article…
surrender4love’s journal entry: Sunday 7/13/2008
Personally, I feel that in our day to day relationship that having expectations are harder to keep up with than rules. Before I get started on that topic, I do want to say that what follows are my personal thoughts and feelings on the matter. I am in no way saying that one way is better or worse. I am just stating what works for our relationship.
With the rules you have punishment. Rules are set and not always maintained leading to punishment. Now, this is not to say that Conquer4love does not whip me just for amusement because he does and he does have the right to punish me when he sees fit which can be outside of the rules being set. What I am saying here, is that in my view point the biggest reason for lists of rules within a relationship is to manage punishments in a way to keep punishments happening. I am not saying that a sub/slave needs to be punished all the time but there is something about punishments that a sub/slave needs or they would not get into the lifestyle in the first place. Also, a Dom/Master who has a perfect sub/slave with no punishments ever required doesn’t fulfill their need to punish beyond exerting basic control.
…read full article…
I’m a bit needy now…
I enjoyed today, enjoyed the closeness and am excited that he will be home for another day. Now, I know that it sounds as though he were going some large distance when he really just goes to the next town to work and is home every night. The shortness of distance doesn’t mean that I like it any less.
What has always been interesting to me with Conquer4love is that he is the only person that I have been able to be around all the time. Normally with me I need a certain amount of personal space in a relationship. I have never been able to be around someone as much as possible and not get tired of them or end up needing a break from them for a day or so. With Conquer4love, I have never needed that space from him at all and what’s more I don’t want that space away from him.
…read full article…
Important Places
Blog Roll
Sites that we visit, read and support:
- Bondage Freaky
- Gorean Refuge
- Submissive Reflections
- pixiepie’s secrets
- avralivia
- vanilla-impaired
- BDSM is Love
- Eros Blog
- Selena Kitt
- Views of a stubborn slave
- Secondhand Rose
- Roxy’s Flog Blog
- Kitten In Chains
- Fueling the Fires
- Pierced Panties
- Under His Hand
- The Long and Winding Road of a Slave
- Ramblings of a kajira
- doubleknot’s ruminations
- Daily Bedpost
- Defending the Raven
- Master & Lady
- At Longings End
Essential Reading
Category Cloud
Tag Cloud
abuse babygirl bdsm bondage collar conquer4love consensual Control D/s daddy daddydom dominance dominant dominate Edge Play family feminism journal law life lifestyle love M/s master Musical Monday orgasm panties pet punishment Relationship sex site Site news slave Social Perversion society submission submissive submissive journal submit surrender4love template time update wordpress
© 2008 - 2010 Social Perversion