Owl and Pussy Cat

Surrender4love looks up to me as daddy, mentor, tutor, master, provider and when she fails or does not do as requested of her then judge, juror and executioner of sorts. I have never been the sort of person to want a pre-trained submissive because my rules, desires and preferences are different than the person they may have learned from.

As her daddy I also act as her wise (not so old) owl to guide her and help her grow into a better and more structured person, to help her embrace her submission, creativity and free spirit.

She brings into my life the simple things that she falls in love with like the leaves as they change color, the rain on a summers day, the grass stains on the bottom of her feet and catching snowflakes on the tongue. As the provider I often do not notice these things in the rush to provide for the family and do what needs to be done… the little things in life that we should be enjoying get missed on a daily basis until I hear her little giggle or gasp of awe.

Like a good little babygirl she is always happy to see me, running up for hugs and kisses, speaking about things that excite her at 100 words a second and coming up just to randomly brush her hand against me for the physical contact.

It is easy to forget in a D/s relationship dynamic that everyone involved brings something important into the relationship just as everyone involved has to sacrifice to keep the relationship and family alive.

Surrender4love sacrifices in her choice to allow me to control her life, in following my decision that she work from home, in following my demands that the house be clean, in prepping dinner every night and waking the family during the day… she gives up parts of herself to ensure that others in the household are provided for on an emotional and spiritual level.

I work to provide roof and sustenance to the family, to ensure that our lights are on and the heat is paid. I analyze the direction we need to go and make sure that everyone is united towards the same goal. I do my best to make sure that babygirl does not forget to take time to be creative by writing and doing her artwork. I remind her when she is focusing so much on others that she begins to forget the things that are important to her.

Though this is a D/s relationship it is not, and will never be, a one sided relationship. She brings as much into the relationship as I do and sacrifices just as much as I do… we have a real world relationship that requires more than a “fuck me” dom dynamic.

I greatly value what she brings to the relationship because through her eyes (though she is the same age as I) I see the happy things in life and am able to smile at the sight of two small birds fighting over a large twig, things I would not have noticed if not for her.

She is sitting next to me right this moment and is starting to cry… that’s another important thing she brings in, the raw emotion fed by love and happiness.

~~Conquer4love~~

Please let us know if you have any issues so that I can fix them but everything should be nice and pretty now.

Have a good morning, the geek is going to bed

~~conquer4love~~

Yahoo AP article: Article at Yahoo.com
Mormons Stole Our Rights: Support Site

America needs to ban together to show the Mormon Church that we will not allow a religious group to take away our freedoms granted and guaranteed by the Constitution. We do this by using their own actions against them and ban together to remove their status as a religious organization.

Join us in this social cause, marriage should not be controlled by government or church but left in the hands of those who are effected, the public.

UPDATE
Here are more links I have found including reports of members of the Mormon Church physically attacking peaceful protesters.

Prop 8 Protesters in Ca.: Article at signonsandiego.com
Video of protest and attacks: Video at LATimes.com

~~conquer4love~~

Sorry about that everyone.

~~Conquer4love~~

There are so many little things in life that a provider has to be responsible for: work, money, bills, emotional health, time management, appointments… it all can be overwhelming for even the most responsible provider at times. Once we get everything nailed down and figured out it seems that something comes up to throw a wrench into our plans.

These responsibilities are even more difficult when your a Master or Dom because you also have to take into account the wellbeing of those who have submitted to you. To have someone rely on you and hand themselves to you mind, body, spirit and soul is an additional responsibility and something that adds to your requirements.

Now add in family members who may be crying out for help, friends who need a shoulder to cry on and an ear to talk to, social groups that want your attention and assistance in building a community, political groups that want you to help canvas for specific officials, religious groups that want you to help protest and spread awareness and you end up having to juggle things in trying to keep everyone happy. At times there are just not enough hours in the day for all that we want to do, for everyone we want to help… and part of being responsible is to see when this happens and resolve how to fix it.

At times everything needs to be reevaluated and those things not of the utmost important need to be pushed aside… as a provider and a responsible person this can be hard to do, to admit that we are not able to handle everything the world wants us to no matter how much me may want to.

Several things have come up recently that have made me have to reconsider some of the responsibilities that I had taken in my day to day life… and because of some of these responsibilities others have been pushed back when they should not have been. I have resolved the situation now and things are back in proper order but I had to let a few go, and for some reason that stings. The thought that I can not handle everything in life that I want to does have an effect on the ego and the spirit, though I know that what I have done is in the best interest of those who’s lives depend on me I still feel bad for having to push other things aside

This will however again allow me to focus on those friends, family and tasks that matter most in my life.

More wheat and less chaff?

Have a good day, night and weekend.

~~conquer4love~~

Finally, someone has done a study showing that we are not the broken sexual deviants that today’s society would make us out to be. I am very excited about the study that took place and am hoping that this institution will continue to explore those of us in the lifestyle. Another positive from an academic study such as this, is that in the years to come more people who are new to the lifestyle won’t have to deal with the heightened level of shame and fear that has plagued us in “normal” society. Or at least, one can hope for that kind of outcome.

Other news of note going on in regards to the lifestyle are:
BDSM at the Cutting Room—with Chris Noth
When Does a ‘Slave’ Become a Slave?
Town officials issue summonses to new adult club
Standard:Deviation—Not your average psychology class
10 Gadgets That Turn Your Empty Kid’s Room Into a Den of Depravity (NSFW)
All tied up!

That’s all for now. Next week we’ll update you with some more news as it pertains to the lifestyle.

~surrender4love

How do I personally ask Daddy for forgiveness? Well, to be completely honest I do not ask Daddy for forgiveness. I apologize for my actions and convey how I understand what I did wrong but I don’t just come out and ask for forgiveness.

What I am about to say here may very well anger a lot of people but it is my personal view of things. I feel that when someone comes out verbally asking anyone for forgiveness that they are choosing to try and force the other person’s feelings on the issue. I do not feel it is my place, nor have I ever felt it was my place to influence someone else’s feelings in order to make myself feel better either from what I have done or from what I have not done. I see the act of asking for forgiveness as a form if human manipulation.

When I have done something stupid or if I break one of Daddy’s rules I do not then ask for his forgiveness. If he is not home, then I contact him and tell him what I have done. If I am sorry for what I have done then I say so; same thing applies for when he is at home. What he chooses to do about the situation based on his own feelings is created within him. I do not try to influence his choice or how he feels about the matter by either asking for forgiveness or trying to lay on a guilt trip to ease the punishment from my own actions.

I am human and I make mistakes but I also take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and actions. If a punishment is to come, as it always is when I make a mistake, I take the punishment that Daddy chooses because it was my own actions that caused him to have to punish me in the first place.

~surrender4love

The scientific community feels that being dominate is a positive human trait while being submissive is not. They align being submissive alongside depression as a personality disorder that needs to be cured. One way in which they want to cure the “submissive gene” is through medication and what better way to develop a human medication directed at manipulating our brains than through the old standard of lab mice using only one form of basic testing.

The basic test is called the Water Test. What they do is take five mice and place them in a cage with a short supply of water. The naturally dominant mice go after the water until one dominant mouse is the only one in control of the water. The remaining mice who did not attempt to challenge the dominant are labeled as naturally submissive as they chose to defer to the dominant mouse in lieu of taking life preserving water. The dominant mice that lost out to the one victorious dominant mouse are placed back into general groupings of five to test how many can persevere and gain water supremacy.

The basic testing concept is simple enough. Basic animal instincts for survival and all that and it is not behavior that is surprising at all. However, while holding onto a misguided ideal that humans are somehow superior to the rest of the planets animals the scientific community feels that humans should not hold back their survival instinct to defer to a dominant but rather that we should all be dominant. Having all humans be dominant makes no sense to me because our societal structure certainly does not support that ideal.

The goal is to use the DSR behavioral model in developing medication to make the human “submissive gene” controllable. The medications developed are advertised and prescribed not as anti-submissive medication but as anti-depressants. Yet another reason to do more research into something when your regular doctor just wants to write you a script. Also, I will admit into being a tad angry in learning that my natural mental state is seen as a mental disorder and not only that but due to the way that I am the scientific community decrees that I’m just really depressed and need to be fixed in some way. My DaddyDom is the only cure that I need and I am the one who choses that, not some doctor who deems me socially inept for being submissive.

If you want to learn more about the “submissive gene” and the testing that is going on to cure submissive people, please visit the following links:
Effect of verapamil on submissive behavior in genetically bred hypercholinergic rats in a water competition test.
Submissive mice might help fight depression
Reduction of submissive behavior in rats
Dominant–submissive behavior as models of mania and depression

~surrender4love

At the core of what makes me who I am is creativity. Being creative has allowed me to fill the void of what I feel is missing inside of myself. There is a problem with that part of me now and I am trying to resolve it so that both my creative free spirit side and submissive side mesh.

For me using creativity has always been an outlet, whether it has been through dance, drama, art, literature or just plain crafting it has always been something that I just did whenever I wanted to. I never put my creativity on a schedule. If I was struck by inspiration at two in the morning then I got up and created. If I was in the throws of creating something and consumed by it then I’d go hours with no food or sleep because I was in the frenzy of creation.

Now though, I have a schedule and have seemed to have set creativity for myself aside and have tried to find ways in which to be creative for the benefit of Daddy and our family. And I do have plenty of inspiration from them but I have found that when I just sit down to draw or write it takes me a bit to get into the act of creating when it is not an act of service.

So, the question for me is: How do I retain my snazzy creative goodness while getting deeper into my submission?

~surrender4love

Surprisingly, I am finding that I am feeling more accepting of my submissive side given the ideal of a little creative freedom. I am not sure why that is but I will look into the causes and such for tomorrow’s entry.

~~surrender4love