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See, we are not crazy! And other BDSM related news
The University of NSW in Australia conducted a study of at least 20,000 BDSM people and found something unexpected. What they learned was that people who engage in the lifestyle are actually more satisfied and happier than people who do not.
“People with these sexual interests have long been seen by medicine and the law as, at best, damaged and in need of therapy and, at worst, dangerous and in need of legal regulation.” Click here to read the full article.
DaddyDom: What it means for his baby girl
I think there are a lot of people who have misconceptions about the DaddyDom/baby girl concept of a relationship. I’ve noticed that even within the lifestyle community, many people look down on this aspect because they carry over the misconceptions from the vanilla world. Also, as with all human nature there is a tendency to attack what is not understood and I find that this goes on in any sub-culture social network just as it does with mainstream society.
Let’s start off by taking a look at what a DaddyDom/baby girl relationship is NOT about.
It is not about incest
It is not about degradation
It is not about pedophilia
It is not about total psychological manipulation
It is not about slavery
It is not about sexual Freudian ideals
Now that above is out of the way, I am going to explain what being a in a DaddyDom/baby girl relationship is all about for me. I realize that everyone’s experience is different and I am not advocating what goes on in my relationship as being a standard in any way. I am just going over what personally works about this aspect of the lifestyle for me. You may agree and you may disagree, both of which you have the right to do. And as consenting adults in a lifestyle relationship what we do with ours is our right as well.
…read full article…
08-11-2008 :: Musical Monday
This week we have “Abuse Me” by “Silverchair”, another song with not so subtle references to sadism and masochism.
…read full article…
There’s a God with a whip!
Beltane by Sharyn Turner
No, I don’t mean that God. Set your minds lower to the dirtier, animalistic side of the spiritual; the Pagan side. My Horned God and all that is male centered with the universe as a whole comes to me through Conquer4love. He is my physical male representative of the divine and it’s not all because he whips me. When I look at him and obey him, in a sense I am falling in line under the will of his spirit and in doing so, I honor my own spirit as well.
Our sexual and personality preferences are not something that we can detach. The same goes for our spirituality, it is not a detachable or an interchangeable aspect of who we are… it just simply is who we are.
…read full article…
08-04-2008 :: Musical Monday
Every Monday starting this week I will share a new song or music video with underlying BDSM or sex themes (even if they are just imagined). This will force me to listen to more obscure music, work on my own bondage playlist and get a giggle. If you have any suggestions please feel free to comment and let me know.
This week we have “(Let Me Be Your) Dirty Fucking Whore” by the always amusing “Machine Gun Fellatio“… notice the very light underlying sex tones? You might have to listen closely to hear it.
…read full article…
The requirement of spirituality….
Photo courtesy of:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/photophreak/87151257/
I think it is time I delve a bit deeper into what it is that makes our relationship so special. BDSM, D/s, M/s, Bondage, Pet Play, Blood Play, Bruises and ropes are just a small part of what makes our relationship so special. All of the above are fun in and of themselves but both of us are very “self aware”, our relationship is not just about blood, beatings and sex… its also about spirituality.
Many people are happy and content to just be slapped around and have a cock shoved down their throat, if this was the depth of my interests I live in a state where prostitution is completely legal and you can get any kink filled for the right amount of money. My life and relationship has a major focus on self-improvement and spirituality so the aggressive and violent stuff is just a bonus not the end goal.
We find the spirituality of BDSM to complement deeply our views on things like Green Living, Chakra Energy, Paganism (not Wiccan), Health Awareness and improving ourselves through understanding of our strengths and weaknesses. Anyone wishing to join in with us must be willing to look into themselves and be comfortable with what they find.
Keep reading to find out what sort of people are unacceptable for more than sexual play and why they are unacceptable…
…read full article…
The basics…
Rules, god I hate rules as they are only useful if they are truly enforced. Many BDSM relationships are filled with rules, checklists, questionnaires and contracts so people tend to be surprised when they find that in my dealing with surrender4love I have taken a more minimalistic approach to rules.
Rule #1 : My way may not be the best way, the fastest way or even the correct way but it is the only acceptable way.
Rule #2 : “No” is never an acceptable response to a command that is given.
Rule #3 : Do as I say.
Edge play, blood sport.
Though many consider it a hard limit blood sport is something that surrender4love and I engage in from time to time. Needles, razors, a sharp pocket knife passed down from a loved one… for us this is not a limit it’s just another fetish.
I have never really understood why so many people consider blood sport a hard limit when there is such a substantial and thriving vamp subculture in even small urban areas today. Many people have been polite enough to point out (in not so polite ways) the issues concerning blood borne diseases to which I respond that we are both tested and are currently in a fluid monogamous relationship. If our relationship ever moves to not being fluids faithful then we will of course be much more cautious until we both have clean bills of health over a lengthy period of time.
…read full article…
How to piss off a bunch of people in line behind you…
A while back, Conquer4love had put ankle and wrist chains on me. These chains were just like my collar in that they were not made to come off unless he undid the links in the chain himself. I had been wearing these chains for over a month and had gotten used to the feel of them on my skin and was really enjoying the feeling of being bound for my Dom even when we couldn’t spend all the hours in the day together. No one had really commented on the chains and when people did notice I think that they just chalked it up to it being regular jewelry. Well, at least that what I assumed people thought until I had to make a run to the courthouse.
…read full article…
What dominance means to me (Part 1)
**start-note** It should be noted that the explanations I use bellow are in reference to OUR Long Term 24/7 TPE and not to people who come in for short to medium term play. This post should not be assumed to represent the ideals or thoughts of any other dominant that you come across, in fact I find them to be a little uncommon when speaking to many other doms in the world.**end-note**
Dominance in the family and relationship is important and one of the major factors to the success of our relationship.
I have been in many vanilla relationships in the past but they were always tarnished with the back and forth power plays that plaque most “equal” couples. Our D/s relationship has allowed me to take the reigns in our relationship and direct where the family goes, where we focus our efforts and how we get where we are going.
…read full article…
Important Places
Blog Roll
Sites that we visit, read and support:
- Daily Bedpost
- Defending the Raven
- avralivia
- BDSM is Love
- doubleknot’s ruminations
- Selena Kitt
- Views of a stubborn slave
- Fueling the Fires
- Under His Hand
- Pierced Panties
- Secondhand Rose
- Kitten In Chains
- Bondage Freaky
- pixiepie’s secrets
- Roxy’s Flog Blog
- Eros Blog
- vanilla-impaired
- The Long and Winding Road of a Slave
- Ramblings of a kajira
- At Longings End
- Gorean Refuge
- Submissive Reflections
- Master & Lady
Essential Reading
Category Cloud
Tag Cloud
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