Finally, someone has done a study showing that we are not the broken sexual deviants that today’s society would make us out to be. I am very excited about the study that took place and am hoping that this institution will continue to explore those of us in the lifestyle. Another positive from an academic study such as this, is that in the years to come more people who are new to the lifestyle won’t have to deal with the heightened level of shame and fear that has plagued us in “normal” society. Or at least, one can hope for that kind of outcome.

Other news of note going on in regards to the lifestyle are:
BDSM at the Cutting Room—with Chris Noth
When Does a ‘Slave’ Become a Slave?
Town officials issue summonses to new adult club
Standard:Deviation—Not your average psychology class
10 Gadgets That Turn Your Empty Kid’s Room Into a Den of Depravity (NSFW)
All tied up!

That’s all for now. Next week we’ll update you with some more news as it pertains to the lifestyle.

~surrender4love

Let’s start off by taking a look at what a DaddyDom/baby girl relationship is NOT about.
It is not about incest
It is not about degradation
It is not about pedophilia
It is not about total psychological manipulation
It is not about slavery
It is not about sexual Freudian ideals

Now that above is out of the way, I am going to explain what being a in a DaddyDom/baby girl relationship is all about for me. I realize that everyone’s experience is different and I am not advocating what goes on in my relationship as being a standard in any way. I am just going over what personally works about this aspect of the lifestyle for me. You may agree and you may disagree, both of which you have the right to do. And as consenting adults in a lifestyle relationship what we do with ours is our right as well.

I am an adult woman, thirty-four years old who has retained my childlike enthusiasm and excitement over just about everything. I am also naive and gullible when it comes to the outside world. I am one of those people who want to believe the good in every one, which when added to my natural submissive nature puts me at risk with the outside world, social predators and other’s who have a stronger personality and temperament then I do. The bonus that I have going for me is that I am also smart enough to realize these things about myself and understand my own vulnerabilities. Unfortunately, I also have a tendency to be used, lied to and manipulated by predatory personality types; I often do not realize what is going on until events start to happen and I end up in situations that I won’t understand until after they have occurred. In short, I need to be protected and I know that.

Being a submissive, I have a drive to please and to put all other’s before myself. I strive to help people by serving them and fulfilling their needs in emotional, material and physical ways. I have a habit of doing these things to my own detriment. I give all that I can until I am a exhausted on all levels with no ability to stop myself from doing so. I need to be able to fulfill this drive in an environment that is safe, emotionally productive and physically healthy.

Now, I won’t go into the rest of what makes up my personality and how I work internally but suffice it to say that in all regards I need more than the standard aspect of a Dom, I need a DaddyDom and that is what and who BloodLustDaddy has become. Keep in mind though, that I did not realize that is what I needed until our relationship naturally went in that direction.

BloodLustDaddy is many things for me. He is the love of my life, my Dominant, my Master, the center of my world and he is my Daddy. He has total control of my life and he shapes my world as well as shapes me into a better person using my natural abilities. All my needs are met, expanded and developed by his control and his guidance. Because we do have a stable foundation of love, trust and respect I think that enables me to believe in him, even when I cannot believe in myself. I think an important part of him being my Daddy is that by shaping me as a person he takes great pride and joy in what I can accomplish. He pushes my limits and even though I do get scared, I have complete trust in him that what he does to me and for me is in my best interest and in the best interest of our relationship. I worship him as my provider, protector, lover and reveal in all that makes him who he is as a person both in our relationship and in the outside world. I defer to his guidance and his care and as such he has become my Daddy. And as Daddy’s baby girl I am more than a submissive woman, I am the center of his world and his heart.

Daddy’s love and dominance is both controlling and caring. He wants me to succeed because when I do so, then he succeeds as well. As his baby girl I am an extension of who he is, an outward reflection of his dominance and what that power he holds can do.

In a way, our D/s relationship is almost like an alternative version of a “traditional” 1950′s relationship with the added bonus of TPE and BDSM. In the fifties it wasn’t uncommon for the woman to call her husband her Daddy. The Daddy provided for her, cared for her and she was seen as an extension of him. The “little woman” at home was a direct product of what the Daddy, as a man could and should do in the terms of society at the time. Daddy was the problem solver, the fixer, the glue that held the family together against all odds and he was the punisher keeping his family in line and in working order. Daddy’s in society were very common until the sexual revolution. Also, just an interesting thing to note is that men in general were not depicted as bumbling idiots who couldn’t run a home or family until after the sexual revolution took place…just saying.

~surrender4love

*BloodLustDaddy sings*: Come on, abuse me more I like it…

Enjoy and see you next week with more sexy music.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

Beltane by Sharyn Turner

No, I don’t mean that God. Set your minds lower to the dirtier, animalistic side of the spiritual; the Pagan side. My Horned God and all that is male centered with the universe as a whole comes to me through BloodLustDaddy. He is my physical male representative of the divine and it’s not all because he whips me. When I look at him and obey him, in a sense I am falling in line under the will of his spirit and in doing so, I honor my own spirit as well.

Our sexual and personality preferences are not something that we can detach. The same goes for our spirituality, it is not a detachable or an interchangeable aspect of who we are… it just simply is who we are.

I do understand that there are some people who won’t understand this concept and that’s okay. For me though, being submissive and under BloodLustDaddy’s command is not at all unlike that of being a rock polished or carved by the force of water. I see both of us as pure forces of nature. We are as natural as the Earth and in keeping with the laws of the natural world we share that balance that exists all around us but is rarely honored or set free in the constrained mainstream world that our society has created. His dominance balances me and fuels the fire of who I really am. BloodLustDaddy’s ownership of me makes me a better submissive, a better woman and a better person on all planes of existence.

There is a beauty in being unable to separate our spirituality with our D/s lifestyle. We have freedom in and through each other because of BDSM being a regular part of everyday life and not just something we do every few years. Honestly, I don’t think that now I could handle not having the lifestyle being our LIFESTYLE.

Such things as Chakra alignment and channeling energy through each other’s bodies is apart of what we do, along with exploring the events and experiences that make up all of the little pieces inside us as humans. We exude spirituality in every little thing we do because we accept that spirit energy that makes up the core of who we are in conjunction with the mundane physical world that we live in. D/s, BDSM, Paganism and universal energy all align with one another to support our spirits from the inside. You can think of it a little, as the ribbon that runs through a corset piercing.

This week we have “(Let Me Be Your) Dirty Fucking Whore” by the always amusing “Machine Gun Fellatio“… notice the very light underlying sex tones? You might have to listen closely to hear it.

14-let-me-be-your-dirty-fucking-whore

Hmmm.. nice…

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

I think it is time I delve a bit deeper into what it is that makes our relationship so special. BDSM, D/s, M/s, Bondage, Pet Play, Blood Play, Bruises and ropes are just a small part of what makes our relationship so special. All of the above are fun in and of themselves but both of us are very “self aware”, our relationship is not just about blood, beatings and sex… its also about spirituality.

Many people are happy and content to just be slapped around and have a cock shoved down their throat, if this was the depth of my interests I live in a state where prostitution is completely legal and you can get any kink filled for the right amount of money. My life and relationship has a major focus on self-improvement and spirituality so the aggressive and violent stuff is just a bonus not the end goal.

We find the spirituality of BDSM to complement deeply our views on things like Green Living, Chakra Energy, Paganism (not Wiccan), Health Awareness and improving ourselves through understanding of our strengths and weaknesses. Anyone wishing to join in with us must be willing to look into themselves and be comfortable with what they find.

Keep reading to find out what sort of people are unacceptable for more than sexual play and why they are unacceptable…

I am a man who believes that through self-improvement on a spiritual level we are able to face our fears, realize our desires and find happiness on even the darkest days. My time is valuable and I don’t have the time needed to improve someones view of themselves. I do not have the time to build up the self-esteem of someone who joins the BDSM lifestyle, in order to validate their own depreciated view of themselves. The “Pretty Princess” also needs not apply. I have no interest in breaking down false walls you have created to insulate yourself from your feelings and how others view you. If you feel that your pussy feels so good that you will be able to control me you are highly mistaken. There are many pussies out there who are able to offer the respect I demand and I have yet to meet a pussy that was worth the attitude, take your “spoiled brat slave” persona and go fuck yourself. Miss “I demand respect” slave is another persona that can go hang yourself, our relationship is built on respect and the fact that you have been allowed into the relationship shows that I respect you. When I tell you to get on all fours and lick out my asshole it does not mean I don’t respect you. However, if you get upset because I haven’t taken you to meet my parents or don’t take you out to a nice dinner once a week it’s a case of you mistaking the power your pussy has on me. When you agree to wear my collar and call me master, the vanilla rules no longer apply. Don’t expect me to treat you by the superficial rules that I refuse to live by. I am also not interested in the “Punish me” Catholic dropouts. My place is not to punish you for your past sins, I am not your Saviour and if you expect my belt to ease your way into heaven then I am the wrong person to deal with; you need to speak to a priest, not a master.

I respect a person who kneels before me, displays my collar on their neck and allows me to control their life. Wearing my collar is signing on for the whole gambit and I would be disrespecting you and myself if I did not embrace who I am and the life that you agree to live. If you find enjoyment in being a slave or a submissive and I treat you like a vanilla girlfriend would that be respectful to either of us? If you agree to be a slave then do not get all bent out of shape when I treat you that way. If you agree to be a submissive do not get upset when I treat you as a submissive… this is not the vanilla world and if you want a boyfriend then get your ass out of my house and go to the bar.

This is where the spirituality comes in: if you are someone who is healthy, comfortable with your body and yourself as a person then I am interested in meeting you. Someone who is healthy, happy, content, confident and not poisoned by a false sense of entitlement is someone who I can connect with, someone who is interested not just in the pain and pleasure but in improving themselves spiritually. If you have holdups in regards to your sexuality, body, health or personality how do you expect to find happiness? These are all things that stand directly in our path to happiness. There is nothing as beautiful as the full body orgasm of a woman who has shed all of her insecurities and inhibitions. All of our insecurities effect our sexuality because we are sexual beings, if we fear ourselves, our bodies, our thoughts or what others think about us we are sacrificing our own happiness and sexuality for false ideals established in us by society. I want someone who is willing and able to look into themselves and work to resolve these underlying issues, the person does not have to have reached the acceptance point yet but they must be willing to work on it and not be afraid of what they find.

Someone who joins us will be expected to speak at length about their childhood, past relationships and insecurities. This is something that will happen and it takes a very special person to be able to do this. Our spirituality includes meditation, Chakrology, self-awareness and self-improvement. We do not expect you to worship our gods as that is a personal matter but we do beleive heavily in the “Id, ego and Super-Ego” and “BodyMind” connection described by Sigmund Freud and John Money. Sexuality and spirituality go hand in hand and if you are unable to truly look at yourself spiritually, emotionally or physically then you will be unable to handle the depth of our relationship.

For someone coming into our lives for more than play you should know that I am a demanding man. Expect to be treated as a slave or submissive, expect to face your inner demons and expect to be held to a path of spirituality, our relationship is about personal growth and we will not allow someone who is afraid of themselves and stagnant in their personal growth to limit where we are going.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

Rule #1 : My way may not be the best way, the fastest way or even the correct way but it is the only acceptable way.
Rule #2 : “No” is never an acceptable response to a command that is given.
Rule #3 : Do as I say.

Three rules keep things fairly simple and are easy to enforce. If I say the entire bathroom is to be cleaned with salt water then it will be cleaned with salt water. I know that salt water is not the best cleaner in the world but that is not the point and discussing it takes time away from cleaning the bathroom with salt water. (Notice: this is a lame example as I would never demand the whole bathroom be cleaned with salt water, tooth paste is much better… *insert evil laugh*)

With the rules out of the way the rest of my girl’s existence comes down to commands, expectations and experiences. Commands are the easiest to follow, when I command that tonight her hair is to be in a pony tail she knows what she needs to do and that if she does not do it punishment will be had. Expectations are a bit tougher but normally come with advance warning… when I get in the shower at night she knows that I expect to have my clothes placed next to the towel for when I get out, it’s not a command or a rule, it’s an expectation. If for some reason my clothes are not waiting for me she knows that she will not suffer a punishment. However, where my expectations are not being met it can quickly become a command with punishment expected upon failure.

Experiences, these are the ones that are hardest to follow but have the most pronounced triggers… when walking in the door from work if I look at her and say “kneel slave” experience tells her that until further notice she has been instructed to keep quite, be pleasing on the eyes and do as I instruct with no questions or complaints.

As far as rules go the closest thing we have are long standing commands:

• Panties are not to be worn unless her cycle has started.
• She is to instruct me as soon as her cycle starts.
• She is never to place herself in a dangerous situation.
• My needs come before any one.
• If a man hits on her she is to respond with “I am sorry, I am in a dedicated relationship.” and walk away.
• Masturbation is not allowed without permission or instruction.
• Orgasm is not allowed without permission or instruction.
• Profanity is not allowed and will be punished by having her mouth washed out with soap.
• If I am at home she is not allowed to answer the phone or door.
• When I come in the front door she is to present herself to me.
• The collar is never to be removed by anyone but me, except in a health emergency situation.
• Her journal is to be done every night unless otherwise instructed.
• She may not sleep with another person without my prior knowledge and permission.

The above are not rules because situations happen that may result in the need to break these. If someone attempts to drive her off the road a “fucking asshole” screamed out the window would be acceptable. If she is in the bathroom due to food poisoning then I would prefer she stay there rather than attempt to follow some “rule” to the detriment of her health, the carpet and perhaps any guest that I may have brought home.

Another thing that tends to surprise others is that we give no stock to “limits” but instead deal in probabilities, which can be hard to explain. I consider limits to be a challenge of sorts. When someone says to me “I can’t do that” or “I won’t do that” I have to wonder why. Are they truly unable, is it a health issue, is it taboo or a religious issue? Already we have advanced past many expressed limits as we have grown spirituality, mentally and emotionally. I can not say that there exists a hard limit in my life. I tend to be willing to try anything once (except for hard drugs) and limits just tend to get in the way of our ability to grow. The issue I see is not that we have a list of limits in our minds but that we do not update that list of limits as we grow and as our experiences change. What sort of life can you live when you are limited by things that you found undesirable several years ago? Because of these issues we have agreed to rid our relationship and lives of limits, hard or soft.

To replace limits we have enacted a probability standard. There is a high probability that we will engage in bloodplay in the next three months but a low probability that I will order her to give a homeless man a blow job in an alley in the next three years. Not to say that tomorrow won’t have her blowing “Homeless Homer” but probability dictates that it’s not very likely to happen.

Thus we have removed limits and most rules from our relationship and lives, we feel this allows us to grow without being held back by artificial expectations that may have been established prior to us reaching where we are now. Many limits are caused by personal experience in the past or taboos that have been dictated to us by society. Why should we limit our lives because someone in our past told us that having sex in the middle of a park on the 4th of July was unacceptable in society? A good example of a false hard limit would be when we began our relationship, due to past experiences she had endured smacking her face was a “hard limit” and now that we have grown it has become a somewhat regular expectation during sex.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

I have never really understood why so many people consider blood sport a hard limit when there is such a substantial and thriving vamp subculture in even small urban areas today. Many people have been polite enough to point out (in not so polite ways) the issues concerning blood borne diseases to which I respond that we are both tested and are currently in a fluid monogamous relationship. If our relationship ever moves to not being fluids faithful then we will of course be much more cautious until we both have clean bills of health over a lengthy period of time.

As with any Edge play there are terms and safety steps you should be aware of, a good place to start is an article describing the different methods and safety issues at Iron Rose, from there use google with the terms “blood play” or “blood sport” for additional information. Also be aware that unless you know what you are doing you can cause permanent harm or death to the person you are playing with, so watch the red and blue lines in the circulatory system (Diagram of the circulatory system).

The thrill of blood sport is really not something that can be described, some people experience orgasms in the simple act of blood sport while others feel the exchange of the very fluids that keep us alive can lead to a deeper spiritual connection between those involved.

Some cultures link the consuming of another’s blood with enabling one to attain aspects and traits of the other’s being or soul. Some cultures beleive that sharing blood links outsiders into their own culture as a sort of blood sport adoption. Science shows that different types of blood play can cause the body to release Endorphins which have a pain killing and mind altering effect similar to morphine. Many of the normal interactions in the BDSM culture cause the release of Endorphins through bondage and masochism (Examples: floggings, whippings, breath play.)

While there is a large population within the lifestyle that finds blood sport to be a hard limit, know that there are many of us who do not see it as a limit… merely another toy.

Helpful Resources:

• http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/2048. (Nature’s Own: The Feel Good Hormone)
• http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/wha/circ.gif. (Diagram of the circulatory system)
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_fetish. (Wikipedia: Blood Fetish)
• http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Balcony/6758/blood.html. (Frugal Domme: Blood Play)
• http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/playing_with_blood.htm. (Iron Rose: Playing with Blood)

Have a nice evening and please play safe.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

I walk in the door and first thing I had to do was go through security. I took my shoes off, keys and such and placed them on the little conveyor belt and walked on through. A loud beep then proceeded to follow me through the machine. So, I step out and two security guards run the wands over me and it beeps right at my waist. One of the security guys asks me to take my glasses off, which I do. The other security guy asks me if I am wearing a belt, to which I replied no. Now, I am in a dress wearing no panties as is a rule from my Dom, no panties unless he specifically tells me to put them on.

Going through the machine a second time, half-blind without my glasses the beep goes off again. Now, all three security guards grab some wands and have me stand with my legs spread and arms out so that they can better check out my possible hidden threat. The beeping goes off at my wrists, my neck and my ankles. From some reason, the second security guard insists that I’m wearing a belt under my dress… to which again I replied that I am not and that there is no need to inspect that area; trying to get them not to take me in some back room and search me because the highlight of my day would not be three senior citizen security guards having a gander at what is undoubtedly property of BloodLustDaddy. So, they decided since they cannot find anything to have me go through the machine yet again but I am told to walk through it as slowly as I can.

On to the third time: I proceed as slowly as I can through the machine much to the irritation of the pregnant lady and Mormon gentleman waiting in line behind me to get through security as well. Again, despite my stealth ambulation the machine beeps. All three security guards once again grab their wands and have me spread my legs and stretch my arms out. They proceed to now slowly run these wands over my body again. The first security guard holds a wand at my wrists while it beeps, the second one holds a wand at my neck while it beeps and the third, on his knees at my feet holds a wand at my ankles while it beeps. The first security guard says now that they have found the problem all I have to do is take my jewelry off. I just stand there …

“Mamm, did you hear me? All you have to do is take the jewelry off”
“Yes, I heard you. See the thing is… I can’t take it off.

“Excuse me?”

Standing with my legs spread and my arms stretched out, facing the pregnant lady and Mormon guy I repeat myself.

“I cannot take the jewelry off.”

The second security guard doesn’t seem to believe me, so he proceeds to tell me to lift my hair so he can check out my necklace, while the other two inspect my wrists and ankles. Tugging on what he thinks is my necklace he quickly finds out that I am indeed telling the truth.

So, in front of the pregnant lady and the Mormon guy, he says:
“Your one of them slaves aren’t ya? Hey, Bob we have us a real slave.”

“Yes, yes I am one those slaves. Can I go now?”

The pregnant lady gasps “Oh, my God!” The Mormon guy walks back out the front door. The security guys put their wands back, they give me my shoes and glasses and inform me that until I take the slave jewelry off I will not be allowed in the courthouse. I gather my things, try to keep myself as composed as possible and walk out the door. All in all, I’m just really glad that one guard gave up on claiming that I was wearing a belt.

Did I ever pay the ticket? Yes, I did though I had to call to get an extension on paying it due to not being able to get in the building. BloodLustDaddy promptly took off my chains and collar for the afternoon that I was due to go pay the ticket off.

Thinking about it now though, really where else would wearing slave jewelry be more appropriate than at the local courthouse?

~~,~~’~~,~~’~~{@ Surrender4love

Dominance in the family and relationship is important and one of the major factors to the success of our relationship.
I have been in many vanilla relationships in the past but they were always tarnished with the back and forth power plays that plaque most “equal” couples. Our D/s relationship has allowed me to take the reigns in our relationship and direct where the family goes, where we focus our efforts and how we get where we are going.

Dominance is so much more then just taking the lead, it forces me to be totally accountable for bad decisions that I make.
I am human and from time to time I will make mistakes, I will head down the wrong road in an attempt to get us where we are going, and I am responsible when I make those decisions. Before I make a decision on where we are going I have to try and take into account everything that can go wrong and plan based on those possibilities.

Dominance is not “never having to say your sorry”, dominance is making choices which will limit the number of times you have to say it.
I have a dominant personality however it is my girl’s submission that allows us to travel through this world and down its paths with little impedance. Anyone can be dominant through force or lack of respect; I however am dominant in the relationship because of our respect.

My girl trusts and respects me enough to make decisions that are in our best interest.
My girl honors me with that trust and respect. She believes that I will always take her desires, interests and welfare into account. If I started to ignore her needs and not take her welfare into account she knows that she has the ability to take that submission back. If I became abusive in a way that would force her to withdraw her submission from me then that would be the end of our relationship since at that point it would not be healthy on either the dominant or submissive sides.

Dominance to me means always having to place the needs of those I lead above myself.
I have always been a provider because I was raised that way from a very young age. I was ingrained with the ideals that a man provides for his family even to the detriment of himself. If one of the members of the family needs something that I also need they will receive it before I do. If my girl needs medical or dental care and it is within our means she will be seen before I am, because I am to provide for her first. This is not part of our agreement; it is just how I am.

Punishment allows us to move past minor issues and never look back.
In our relationship I issue punishment when I feel that my commands have not been followed in the proper manor. I will also issue punishment if I feel that I have been disrespected or slighted. The act of punishment allows us to move past these inevitable circumstances that will occur because we are human and focus again on the relationship. When something that my girl has done upsets me I let her know why and what the punishment will be. This prevents (or limits) the situation happening again and keeps us from playing the destructive “remember that time you <said/did/didn’t do> this and upset me” nitpicking down the road that often leads to the destruction of normal relationships.

To me dominance is my way of showing love and caring.
I am the sort of person where my family is top priority at all times. Being a dominant individual allows me to show that I care about them or love them in such a way that I am willing to be responsible for them. I could care less about most peoples actions or needs in this world, my primary concern are the needs of my family. If I take someone and make them a member of the family, and thus take a position of dominance over them, I am agreeing to be totally responsible for their health and wellbeing; this is not something that I take lightly. The most effective way for me to show my feeling for someone is to be able to be the provider for them in all ways. In turn, the most effective way for someone to show their feelings towards me is in their submission, the fact that they care, trust and respect me enough to submit to me speaks more about their feelings than any words that could ever come out of their mouths.

Dominance is not anti-feminism, sexism or sexual discrimination.
I am a male, I am masculine and I am dominant. This does not in any way mean that I am inherently better than my girl and it does not mean that she is in any way inferior to me because she was born with a vagina rather than a penis. As humans, people and members of society we truly are equal, in our relationship we are equal. My dominance is not based on my sex, it is based on the fact that she has made a conscious choice to be submissive to me, and this truly is the purpose behind feminism; choice. My girl is not submissive to every male in the world and any male who assumes an air of dominance over her based on her sex will be surprised at the level of her retort as well as mine. I would like it known that I support feminism and will stand on the front lines with you assuming you are of the ideals that feminism is about choice and equality without discrimination of our differences. However, if you are of the mind that we are all the same or we all should be the same then that is not equality it is “sameity” and it is ass backwards. I will not support those who look down on a submissive female or refuse to accept the choices made by a female who chooses to become submissive. There are inherent differences between males and females on a physiological and psychological level and these differences will always exist. Equality is not about making these differences disappear, it’s about not allowing the differences to limit the choices you can make.

If you wish to discuss this article with me please use the comment form or “send feedback” link. With your comment please keep a level and respectful tone and I will approve any comments that are a discussion, even if they contradict my beliefs, but I will not approve comments that are attacking, derogatory or abusive. This article is about my feelings, thoughts and ideals and this article does not and should not be assumed as representative of anyone elses. This article has been approved by an “equality feminist” but I didn’t take the time to run it past a “sameity feminist”.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~