History.

I am going to make some broad generalizations now that may upset you, please understand that these observations are based on my personal experiences. Though they may not apply to everyone I feel that I have had a large enough sampling in my years of dating to make an educated observation. I am sure there are exceptions, you may be the exception, but I am going to state things as I see them. So that you understand where I am coming from, you should know that I have what some would deem as an… excessive history of relationships. The majority of these relationships were short lived (six months to a year) with a few lasting from four years clear up to ten years.

The majority of my relationships in the past have been the very model of “normal” and “acceptable” by societies standards. As an example one of my last relationships made everyone else happy, they saw us as the “perfect couple” and often attempted to duplicate what they saw. The issue here is they were only seeing what we wanted them to see, they never saw the power struggles and the four hour arguments that took a toll on our relationship and trust for each other. Often I looked around to try and find why these things were happening in what was designed to be a good relationship. Why were we fighting? Why were we engaged in a power struggle? Why would she be manipulative? Why would she purposefully engage in behavior designed to make me jealous? Why was each day an attempt to break me down more and more from a dominant man into a easily manipulated pawn?

I have never been the type of person to be content with that “things just are” explanation. I have always been driven to understand why things are and what cause and effect exists in each situation. Being that these were vanilla relationships, questions were always left unanswered and simple questions were treated as personal attacks. By forming a group of female friends and a series of surprisingly open and honest relationships, I was able to get many of the answers that had plagued me for so many years. I am going to make my observations and provide substantial evidence in order to back up my observations. Afterwards, I will explain why I am happy to be an “unreasonable man” and how this will never change.

Observations.

1. Women are manipulative
2. Women are pathological liars
3. Women both seek out dominant males and fear a dominant male

I understand that you may consider these to be brash statements so let me expand on each point and provide proof to my comments. Keeping in mind that I do not see women as starting out this way but that they develop these traits based on pressure in our society.

1. Women are manipulative.

In general women are raised from childhood being taught that men are stupid, stubborn, indecisive and ultimately unable to take care of themselves or anyone else. Mass media is filled with examples of men who are unable to make even the most basic decisions unless it involves a grill or a sport with lots of other men and a round object. Examples of this are easy to spot in nearly any commercial aimed at the female demographic as well as nearly every soap opera and prime time T.V. series. When was the last time you saw “Tim Taylor” from “Tool Time”, “George Lopez” from the “George Lopez Show” or even “Bill Cosby” from the “Bill Cosby Show” provide happily for their families while cleanly taking care of all the family issue that come up during the day? All of these men and many more are shown to be bumbling idiots who can never do anything right and require the wife to come home and fix everything the man has screwed up. Mass media makes it very clear that men are not that bright and because we are stubborn the only way to actually get a male to do anything correctly is to manipulate him into either doing it right or getting someone else to do it for him. Men being stubborn and indecisive requires that women manipulate the situation to get the desired result while attempting to make the man believe that it was his idea from the start.

Things have taken a turn for the worse in society regarding the normal power structure that is perpetrated by all major media outlets. No longer is Ricky(I Love Lucy) coming home to his loving wife and taking care of any issues that may have come up during the day, now Tim is coming home and fucking everything up requiring Jill to manipulate him into a happy outcome. I am unsure of exactly where this transition took place however, I am fairly confident that this is yet another unacceptable bi-product of the post-feminist era of the sexual revolution. I can already see the trolls getting ready to flame me to hell but WAIT AND FINISH THE FUCKING ARTICLE FIRST. One may believe that it was perhaps a requirement that to raise up one social group another had to be brought down. However, I believe that this is just another case of mistaken intent based on a few extremists that got involved. At some point feminism changed from a focus of equality to a focus of man hating and female superiority. Even many of the founders of the feminist movement have withdrawn and condemned the actions taken as outside of the intended results.

To further substantiate my stance on point: I call into question the lovely set of best selling female training manuals “The Rules” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, self professed “Dating Coaches” (I will not link to such lie filled and manipulative tripe, so just Google for “The Rules” if you really want to read the worst of the worst crap). I do recommend that males take the time to read these books as it will provide a perfect (and best selling, mind you) example of how women are trained to believe that males are incapable of providing, deciding and being dependable. These “Rules” instruct women on how to catch a man and through manipulation entice him into a marriage that is based entirely on lies and deceit. My concern, is that as women grow from childhood though adulthood and then into parenthood these stereotypes are force fed to their male children creating generations of men who believe that “Al Bundy” from “Married with children” is not only an acceptable personality but that it is actually desirable.

2. Women are pathological liars

This comes not from some inherent internal flaw that exists in the female genome but is another example of the training that has been used through the years to brainwash females into what is now an acceptable and standard practice when dealing with men. Because men are so easily confused by maps and how to put their pants on, women are required to lie to men in order to get them to be productive. Rather than teach women to be honest and express their desires and feelings, they are taught that any show of emotion is a weakness that men will exploit for their own benefit. Women now enter into and maintain relationships where they are truly not happy because they are forced to hold their thoughts and feelings inside and use deception in order to achieve the outcome they desire or the outcome they believe they should have regardless of whether this outcome is either fulfilling or truly desirable.

This training is completely unacceptable in my opinion and is just another catalyst to the high divorce rates that exist in today’s world. To attempt to train an entire sub-group of modern humanity that deception, manipulation and lying are acceptable and required traits when dealing with those we wish to have a relationship with, is as much a crime as instructing your child that stealing is ok and that everyone is doing it.

Each woman is personally responsible for her actions in furthering this tactic, and as I see it are the ones that will primarily have to deal with the results. Unless women make a conscious decision to ignore the tripe they have been force fed from childhood and embrace a more honest, and as a result spiritually filling, existence then as more and more men grow up into the stereotypes that they are being portrayed as, women will find it more difficult or nearly imposable to actually find a truly desirable mate.

3. Women both seek out dominant males and fear a dominant male

There is a social yin and yang that exists in society that is clearly at odds with most females personal desires when it comes to a mate. In general, women desire a man who is dominant and capable of providing for her and the family while being internally torn by the ideals that have been falsely implanted into them. When women begin relationships that are more then just sexual pleasure they have been attracted to this male based on desirable traits. On one hand a strong, dedicated and dominant man is the ideal mate but the relationship will quickly turn into a power play with the end result being the very traits that were attractive, being striped from the male. Women expend a huge amount of effort to attract this desirable man into a relationship, once the man is in the relationship an even larger amount of effort is expended in an attempt to keep the man in the relationship. Both of these are acceptable and expected actions however the next step is clearly self destructive… Women, when they have the man in the relationship will then begin to needle away at the mans ego and strengths, until what they end up with is a husk that has no desirable attributes. This behavior is built from the very internal fear that woman have of a strong and dominant man.

Society has taught women that dominance is something to be feared and eradicated at nearly any cost. Society is filled with people who are incapable of seeing that a balance can exist between dominance and submission, that leads both people being happy. Women are trained that dominance cannot exist without one person being placed forcibly into a position of servitude. This dominance cannot exist without the other person being striped of their own personalities and desires. Dominance in today’s world is seen as indistinguishable from of an abusive personality type. Surely, no person would willingly submit to the authority of another human and when this happens clearly, the poor woman is in an abusive relationship and must be saved.

These are false and narrow minded restrictions that are placed on terms used to describe traits in males. For the majority of people in today’s society they are unable to differentiate an abusive personality from a dominant personality, simply because there are a few minor similarities between the two. It is my personal opinion that what separates a dominant personality from an abusive personality is mental illness. Each personality should be dealt with on a case by case basis but this is not what has happened. Rather then treating an abusive personality as a mental illness and dominance as a desirable trait, they are both clumped together in the same category because there may be a few, although minor, similarities in the personality profiles. This is the same society that glares down at jealously and sees it as an unacceptable and dangerous emotion rather than accepting that the only people who become that dangerous in the grips of jealously are the same people that already have existing mental stability issues. Rather than attempt to differentiate and understand either dominance or jealously, they are both just treated as dangerous warning signs and are met with scorn and hatred. Has society become so bitter towards our existence that all emotions and traits need to be eradicated simply because there are a few fucking wackos that are mentally instable? Next time some gunman takes pot shots at innocent people while laughing, are we going to label happiness as a dangerous trait that must be eradicated? Don’t believe me? Try getting on an airplane while being extremely happy and see how far past screening you will get before they pull you aside for a “personal conversation”. Emotions and personality traits should be understood and embraced, not discarded and ignored.

Even the most simple dominant traits displayed publicly by females in society are deemed as acceptable, while the same traits displayed by males can easily be punished by forced “anger management” classes. Why is it acceptable that females in today’s society are allowed to be dominant, while the males are punished for the same traits even when there is no violence attached to the display of dominance?

Why I am happy to be a “unreasonable man” and always will be.

This is not a point in the list but is an explanation of where this article originates from. I am a picky person when it comes to my core values and I refuse to compromise. I have lived long enough with my traits being systematically attacked in nearly every relationship I have entered into. I am a loving, gentle, caring, providing, honest, intelligent and dominant man and I refuse to compromise these traits based on some propaganda meant to belittle men as a whole. After being made aware of the systematic attacks taking place on the personalities of males, I made a conscious decision not to allow these actions into my relationship. My girl is not a captive in this relationship, she is a happy and willing participant. I have made my intentions in the relationship clear and have never swayed from my dedication to being in control of where we go. Long ago I decided that this life is mine to live and direct and anyone that wishes to join along on this journey is welcome. However, anyone attempting to take control of the steering wheel will be left behind.

Surrender4love has grown much in the short period that our relationship has existed and I trust that if she were to decide that she no longer wished to ride along with me she would leave the relationship as a better and wiser person than when she entered into the relationship. Both of us have learned a lot about ourselves and society in general during our relationship and I feel that we have both taught each other a lot. If the relationship were to end, I feel we are both better people than when we started. She would be greatly missed but she is not a captive and can leave at any time she feels the need to. I have explained to her that if she made the decision to leave there would be no hard feelings;though, she would be missed dearly.

It all comes down to me being an unreasonable man. I have decided where in life I am going and how I am going to get there. I will not allow anyone to compromise my ideals and will no longer sacrifice myself for the sake of a relationship. I will not be manipulated by someone entering into my life no matter what their views on males and dominance might be. During our relationship I am sure more females will come and go, coming when they feel it is time and leaving when they feel they need to.

No matter who comes or goes I will keep my integrity and be truthful to myself, and by today’s standards and by “The Rules” this makes me an unreasonable man.

So be it. This unreasonable man is going to bed and taking his girl with him. Perhaps, tomorrow she will tell you the advantages of being with an unreasonable man. Till then, I will make her do unreasonable and dirty things.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

Dominance in the family and relationship is important and one of the major factors to the success of our relationship.
I have been in many vanilla relationships in the past but they were always tarnished with the back and forth power plays that plaque most “equal” couples. Our D/s relationship has allowed me to take the reigns in our relationship and direct where the family goes, where we focus our efforts and how we get where we are going.

Dominance is so much more then just taking the lead, it forces me to be totally accountable for bad decisions that I make.
I am human and from time to time I will make mistakes, I will head down the wrong road in an attempt to get us where we are going, and I am responsible when I make those decisions. Before I make a decision on where we are going I have to try and take into account everything that can go wrong and plan based on those possibilities.

Dominance is not “never having to say your sorry”, dominance is making choices which will limit the number of times you have to say it.
I have a dominant personality however it is my girl’s submission that allows us to travel through this world and down its paths with little impedance. Anyone can be dominant through force or lack of respect; I however am dominant in the relationship because of our respect.

My girl trusts and respects me enough to make decisions that are in our best interest.
My girl honors me with that trust and respect. She believes that I will always take her desires, interests and welfare into account. If I started to ignore her needs and not take her welfare into account she knows that she has the ability to take that submission back. If I became abusive in a way that would force her to withdraw her submission from me then that would be the end of our relationship since at that point it would not be healthy on either the dominant or submissive sides.

Dominance to me means always having to place the needs of those I lead above myself.
I have always been a provider because I was raised that way from a very young age. I was ingrained with the ideals that a man provides for his family even to the detriment of himself. If one of the members of the family needs something that I also need they will receive it before I do. If my girl needs medical or dental care and it is within our means she will be seen before I am, because I am to provide for her first. This is not part of our agreement; it is just how I am.

Punishment allows us to move past minor issues and never look back.
In our relationship I issue punishment when I feel that my commands have not been followed in the proper manor. I will also issue punishment if I feel that I have been disrespected or slighted. The act of punishment allows us to move past these inevitable circumstances that will occur because we are human and focus again on the relationship. When something that my girl has done upsets me I let her know why and what the punishment will be. This prevents (or limits) the situation happening again and keeps us from playing the destructive “remember that time you <said/did/didn’t do> this and upset me” nitpicking down the road that often leads to the destruction of normal relationships.

To me dominance is my way of showing love and caring.
I am the sort of person where my family is top priority at all times. Being a dominant individual allows me to show that I care about them or love them in such a way that I am willing to be responsible for them. I could care less about most peoples actions or needs in this world, my primary concern are the needs of my family. If I take someone and make them a member of the family, and thus take a position of dominance over them, I am agreeing to be totally responsible for their health and wellbeing; this is not something that I take lightly. The most effective way for me to show my feeling for someone is to be able to be the provider for them in all ways. In turn, the most effective way for someone to show their feelings towards me is in their submission, the fact that they care, trust and respect me enough to submit to me speaks more about their feelings than any words that could ever come out of their mouths.

Dominance is not anti-feminism, sexism or sexual discrimination.
I am a male, I am masculine and I am dominant. This does not in any way mean that I am inherently better than my girl and it does not mean that she is in any way inferior to me because she was born with a vagina rather than a penis. As humans, people and members of society we truly are equal, in our relationship we are equal. My dominance is not based on my sex, it is based on the fact that she has made a conscious choice to be submissive to me, and this truly is the purpose behind feminism; choice. My girl is not submissive to every male in the world and any male who assumes an air of dominance over her based on her sex will be surprised at the level of her retort as well as mine. I would like it known that I support feminism and will stand on the front lines with you assuming you are of the ideals that feminism is about choice and equality without discrimination of our differences. However, if you are of the mind that we are all the same or we all should be the same then that is not equality it is “sameity” and it is ass backwards. I will not support those who look down on a submissive female or refuse to accept the choices made by a female who chooses to become submissive. There are inherent differences between males and females on a physiological and psychological level and these differences will always exist. Equality is not about making these differences disappear, it’s about not allowing the differences to limit the choices you can make.

If you wish to discuss this article with me please use the comment form or “send feedback” link. With your comment please keep a level and respectful tone and I will approve any comments that are a discussion, even if they contradict my beliefs, but I will not approve comments that are attacking, derogatory or abusive. This article is about my feelings, thoughts and ideals and this article does not and should not be assumed as representative of anyone elses. This article has been approved by an “equality feminist” but I didn’t take the time to run it past a “sameity feminist”.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~