There are so many little things in life that a provider has to be responsible for: work, money, bills, emotional health, time management, appointments… it all can be overwhelming for even the most responsible provider at times. Once we get everything nailed down and figured out it seems that something comes up to throw a wrench into our plans.

These responsibilities are even more difficult when your a Master or Dom because you also have to take into account the wellbeing of those who have submitted to you. To have someone rely on you and hand themselves to you mind, body, spirit and soul is an additional responsibility and something that adds to your requirements.

Now add in family members who may be crying out for help, friends who need a shoulder to cry on and an ear to talk to, social groups that want your attention and assistance in building a community, political groups that want you to help canvas for specific officials, religious groups that want you to help protest and spread awareness and you end up having to juggle things in trying to keep everyone happy. At times there are just not enough hours in the day for all that we want to do, for everyone we want to help… and part of being responsible is to see when this happens and resolve how to fix it.

At times everything needs to be reevaluated and those things not of the utmost important need to be pushed aside… as a provider and a responsible person this can be hard to do, to admit that we are not able to handle everything the world wants us to no matter how much me may want to.

Several things have come up recently that have made me have to reconsider some of the responsibilities that I had taken in my day to day life… and because of some of these responsibilities others have been pushed back when they should not have been. I have resolved the situation now and things are back in proper order but I had to let a few go, and for some reason that stings. The thought that I can not handle everything in life that I want to does have an effect on the ego and the spirit, though I know that what I have done is in the best interest of those who’s lives depend on me I still feel bad for having to push other things aside

This will however again allow me to focus on those friends, family and tasks that matter most in my life.

More wheat and less chaff?

Have a good day, night and weekend.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

With the rules you have punishment. Rules are set and not always maintained leading to punishment. Now, this is not to say that BloodLustDaddy does not whip me just for amusement because he does and he does have the right to punish me when he sees fit which can be outside of the rules being set. What I am saying here, is that in my view point the biggest reason for lists of rules within a relationship is to manage punishments in a way to keep punishments happening. I am not saying that a sub/slave needs to be punished all the time but there is something about punishments that a sub/slave needs or they would not get into the lifestyle in the first place. Also, a Dom/Master who has a perfect sub/slave with no punishments ever required doesn’t fulfill their need to punish beyond exerting basic control.

Do we need rules? Yes. Do we need a long list of rules? No. Rules for us are basic. It is the expectations and the management of expectations that keep things moving along. Expectations are not a bad thing in a relationship as long as there is open communication about what those expectations are. How many times do people jump into relationships with their own expectations only to hold a grudge against who they are with if those expectations are not met? The key to using each other’s expectations to enhance the relationship lies with communication. BloodLustDaddy and I are very fortunate in that we have a very open communication on everything and neither one judges the other for that at all.

My enjoyment of trying to meet his expectations comes both in the doing of each one and in of the accomplishment of what I can get done for him. Meeting an expectation lets him know what I am capable of and how far I will go to please him. Some days I manage to get a good deal of them met and other days it can be a struggle but there is no day that passes by in which I do not try my best to meet with his expectations. Pleasing him, taking care of what he wants me to take care of in a day… well, there is a trust that comes with that. He can trust that I will do my best to do what he wants and or needs me to do and in that I can trust that he will acknowledge what expectations are being met and what expectations are not being met.

As someone who has been involved in a successful, real life, same house, long term D/s relationship I find those who take issue with the “submission is a gift” topic to either have an over inflated sense of entitlement or have no real understanding of the concept of choice and how it applies to their lives and relationship.

I was explaining to someone recently who had referenced it as “slave worship” that if their view of the world is so narrow that other peoples choices are beyond her comprehensions then the issue is hers to deal with and not everyone else’s.

Let’s not forget that this is a bottom issue as well as a top issue. I have seen many a bottom make fanciful and romantic quotes about “my submission is not given, its taken” and “even when I don’t want to submit he makes me” which is nothing other then trying to romanticize their relationship via Norman quotes… if truly they are forced to submit without their consent then the police should be called.

Unless there is a threat of death to the bottom if s/he does not do as the top instructs then the situation is built entirely out of trust and CHOICE. If there is the threat of death then the situation is no longer consensual and should be dissolved as soon as the poor sub can get to a phone to have the police called in on the “master”… preferably with tasers and Billy clubs involved… and orifice searches by a cop who for some unknown reason goes by the name Bear or Tiny.

I have to laugh at the sub/slaves who say “My Master is a real Master, he forces my submission” because it’s a bunch of fanciful and romantic crap… unless you are risking death when your master tells you to do something then you are making a choice, you either do it, don’t do it and take the punishment or walk the hell out of the relationship. Let’s accept what the relationship is, a series of choices.

Contracts and power of attorney transfers won’t hold up in court if “mister mighty master” decides he wants to chop off “Master_Mighty’s_Slave_Girls” left ear because she wasn’t listening, they are just another tool to establish the power exchange in the relationships and are as empty legally as the collar the subs wear.

That seems to be the stance I have seen, those who see submission as a gift and that their lifestyles are filled with choices no matter how “true” of a slave they are, and those who build their relationship off of a series of choice which they then hide behind terms such as “real master”, “real slave” and “real submissive”.

I for one would never take a “real” or “no limit” slave into my household, I would be so wrapped up in trying to show them where their limits are that it would become an obsession… better to take someone who understands that our lives and lifestyles, no matter how “real” or “deep”, are just a series of choices on both sides.

Which brings me to my next question, if you make a “deep real no-limit life salve” use her safe word do you get a cookie? Personally I want someone grounded in reality rather than floating around in Gor headspace or in the Arthurian era of the Beauty books.

Please understand that I am not attacking those who are Gorean, I have read the books and feel that they are a great example of how honor, trust and responsibility should be brought back into our lives despite the fact that we live in a corrupt world filled with fakes, phonies and liars. My issue is with those who are so wrapped up in the fantasy of Gor that they believe that their slave can not make the choice to leave and if she tries the master can track her down and kill/lash/hobble her. Accept that it’s a fantasy series and that at no time in the future will you track down a lost freewoman, brand her and introduce her to her slavery by tying her across your latest bosk kill and raping her.

To each their own and may you find what makes you happy. For me reality and the gift of my subs submission makes me happy. Whine and complain about how I live MY life all you want, while you do that I will be living happily.

Last time we tried the fantasy stuff the damn dice kept getting lost, those 1d100 are like marbles… they just keep rolling. I still don’t know if I successfully completed my “level 12 spell of virginal ass raping” before she completed her “summon level 40 female rights lawyer”… And now in “Advanced BDSM 4th edition” they nerf’d the “True Dom” class at level 12… bastards!

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

The collar Surrender4love wears is a sign of her submission, her level of ownership and her total devotion to me in all matters. During the times that Surrender4love has gone without her collar she has felt detached from herself, her life and our relationship. Nothing thrills me more than seeing my girl in her collar;nothing gets me more excited than grabbing my girls collar and pulling her close to me. It’s a physical and publicly visible symbol of her choice to allow someone else to control her choices and actions in life.

Our choice to establish our lifestyle as a D/s relationship rather then an M/s relationship is primarily because she has the ability to enter into the mindset of a slave and my ability to truly enter into a master mindset when I feel that such is needed. We feel that in the long run having my girl be a slave would take away many of the little things that made me fall in love with her those many years ago: her love of being random, her love of creating art and her history of seeing the simplest things in the world as amazing. If my girl was to become a 24/7 slave these things would quickly dissolve away in her submission and thus destroy the very things I value so much in her.

Neither of us take the collar lightly. Both of us understand its meaning to us and its symbolism of our relationship. When I placed the collar around her neck I knew I was agreeing to someone allowing me to make all major decisions in the relationship and in our lives together. To me this level of submission is not a joke and is not just a sexual game, I consider myself responsible for every decision I make on her behalf.

Through the collar, my dominance and her submission we have found a relationship that matches our personalities perfectly and have both found what we consider to be the most loving, happy and fulfilling relationship either of us have had in our 30+ years of life on this chaotic planet.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

Consent, it’s a simple word with simple meaning. Webster’s Dictionary defines consent as “compliance in or approval of what is done or proposed by another” and “agreement as to action or opinion”. You hear often from those who are not part of the lifestyle that BDSM is abusive. People who are not a part of the lifestyle can often mistake the bruises and scratches of rough play as signs of abuse. The BDSM lifestyle is about consensual actions taken by grown and knowledgeable adults.

If a person decides to be a submissive or slave to another it is with total knowledge and consent; this person is not forced into this position. A slave or submissive may be ordered around, used in what may be construed as an aggressive or violent manor, ordered to perform degrading or humiliating acts and used sexually in ways others may find abusive. The submissive or slave gave willingly and knowledgeably these rights to their dominant or master. The action of submitting to a dominant is often referred to as “Consensual servitude” and with a master it is referred to as “Consensual slavery.”

The difference between an abusive relationship and a BDSM relationship is that all participants are willing and in many cases ask for the actions they experience. There are people in this world who enjoy the experience of being humiliated. There are people who enjoy being ordered around in their daily affairs. There are people who find extreme enjoyment in the bruises and marks left from a switch, knife, needle, rope or even a hand.

Knowledge is power; if you are in a truly abusive relationship where violent or aggressive acts are taken against you without your consent then please contact the authorities.

Surrender4love and I find great enjoyment in the way that we play. During play it is common for bruises to be left and often this is the goal. We engage in and enjoy blood play which requires knifes and needles for cutting and piercing the skin.

Profanity and degrading terms are often used in our day to day life and in the bedroom. Throughout the day I may refer to Surrender4love as “my dirty little whore” or “my little cock slut” but we keep these references whispered when in public so as not to interfere with the happiness of the public in general. Though these terms are derogatory in nature we use them as terms of endearment, something that John and Jane Vanilla won’t be saying to each other any time soon. We agreed, as consensual adults, that the terms used are acceptable in the realm of our relationship.

Surrender4love has given me the greatest gift anyone has ever provided. The gift is greater to me then a new car, a big screen TV or all the money I could fit in my house. She has given me her submission and in that has shown me the ultimate level of trust and respect. This gift she has given however can not be taken lightly by me, if I push her past the acceptable lines we have established in our relationship (of which there are few) then she may again take this gift away. She is my submissive but she is not forced into this position, it is consensual on both of our parts.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~