History.

I am going to make some broad generalizations now that may upset you, please understand that these observations are based on my personal experiences. Though they may not apply to everyone I feel that I have had a large enough sampling in my years of dating to make an educated observation. I am sure there are exceptions, you may be the exception, but I am going to state things as I see them. So that you understand where I am coming from, you should know that I have what some would deem as an… excessive history of relationships. The majority of these relationships were short lived (six months to a year) with a few lasting from four years clear up to ten years.

The majority of my relationships in the past have been the very model of “normal” and “acceptable” by societies standards. As an example one of my last relationships made everyone else happy, they saw us as the “perfect couple” and often attempted to duplicate what they saw. The issue here is they were only seeing what we wanted them to see, they never saw the power struggles and the four hour arguments that took a toll on our relationship and trust for each other. Often I looked around to try and find why these things were happening in what was designed to be a good relationship. Why were we fighting? Why were we engaged in a power struggle? Why would she be manipulative? Why would she purposefully engage in behavior designed to make me jealous? Why was each day an attempt to break me down more and more from a dominant man into a easily manipulated pawn?

I have never been the type of person to be content with that “things just are” explanation. I have always been driven to understand why things are and what cause and effect exists in each situation. Being that these were vanilla relationships, questions were always left unanswered and simple questions were treated as personal attacks. By forming a group of female friends and a series of surprisingly open and honest relationships, I was able to get many of the answers that had plagued me for so many years. I am going to make my observations and provide substantial evidence in order to back up my observations. Afterwards, I will explain why I am happy to be an “unreasonable man” and how this will never change.

Observations.

1. Women are manipulative
2. Women are pathological liars
3. Women both seek out dominant males and fear a dominant male

I understand that you may consider these to be brash statements so let me expand on each point and provide proof to my comments. Keeping in mind that I do not see women as starting out this way but that they develop these traits based on pressure in our society.

1. Women are manipulative.

In general women are raised from childhood being taught that men are stupid, stubborn, indecisive and ultimately unable to take care of themselves or anyone else. Mass media is filled with examples of men who are unable to make even the most basic decisions unless it involves a grill or a sport with lots of other men and a round object. Examples of this are easy to spot in nearly any commercial aimed at the female demographic as well as nearly every soap opera and prime time T.V. series. When was the last time you saw “Tim Taylor” from “Tool Time”, “George Lopez” from the “George Lopez Show” or even “Bill Cosby” from the “Bill Cosby Show” provide happily for their families while cleanly taking care of all the family issue that come up during the day? All of these men and many more are shown to be bumbling idiots who can never do anything right and require the wife to come home and fix everything the man has screwed up. Mass media makes it very clear that men are not that bright and because we are stubborn the only way to actually get a male to do anything correctly is to manipulate him into either doing it right or getting someone else to do it for him. Men being stubborn and indecisive requires that women manipulate the situation to get the desired result while attempting to make the man believe that it was his idea from the start.

Things have taken a turn for the worse in society regarding the normal power structure that is perpetrated by all major media outlets. No longer is Ricky(I Love Lucy) coming home to his loving wife and taking care of any issues that may have come up during the day, now Tim is coming home and fucking everything up requiring Jill to manipulate him into a happy outcome. I am unsure of exactly where this transition took place however, I am fairly confident that this is yet another unacceptable bi-product of the post-feminist era of the sexual revolution. I can already see the trolls getting ready to flame me to hell but WAIT AND FINISH THE FUCKING ARTICLE FIRST. One may believe that it was perhaps a requirement that to raise up one social group another had to be brought down. However, I believe that this is just another case of mistaken intent based on a few extremists that got involved. At some point feminism changed from a focus of equality to a focus of man hating and female superiority. Even many of the founders of the feminist movement have withdrawn and condemned the actions taken as outside of the intended results.

To further substantiate my stance on point: I call into question the lovely set of best selling female training manuals “The Rules” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, self professed “Dating Coaches” (I will not link to such lie filled and manipulative tripe, so just Google for “The Rules” if you really want to read the worst of the worst crap). I do recommend that males take the time to read these books as it will provide a perfect (and best selling, mind you) example of how women are trained to believe that males are incapable of providing, deciding and being dependable. These “Rules” instruct women on how to catch a man and through manipulation entice him into a marriage that is based entirely on lies and deceit. My concern, is that as women grow from childhood though adulthood and then into parenthood these stereotypes are force fed to their male children creating generations of men who believe that “Al Bundy” from “Married with children” is not only an acceptable personality but that it is actually desirable.

2. Women are pathological liars

This comes not from some inherent internal flaw that exists in the female genome but is another example of the training that has been used through the years to brainwash females into what is now an acceptable and standard practice when dealing with men. Because men are so easily confused by maps and how to put their pants on, women are required to lie to men in order to get them to be productive. Rather than teach women to be honest and express their desires and feelings, they are taught that any show of emotion is a weakness that men will exploit for their own benefit. Women now enter into and maintain relationships where they are truly not happy because they are forced to hold their thoughts and feelings inside and use deception in order to achieve the outcome they desire or the outcome they believe they should have regardless of whether this outcome is either fulfilling or truly desirable.

This training is completely unacceptable in my opinion and is just another catalyst to the high divorce rates that exist in today’s world. To attempt to train an entire sub-group of modern humanity that deception, manipulation and lying are acceptable and required traits when dealing with those we wish to have a relationship with, is as much a crime as instructing your child that stealing is ok and that everyone is doing it.

Each woman is personally responsible for her actions in furthering this tactic, and as I see it are the ones that will primarily have to deal with the results. Unless women make a conscious decision to ignore the tripe they have been force fed from childhood and embrace a more honest, and as a result spiritually filling, existence then as more and more men grow up into the stereotypes that they are being portrayed as, women will find it more difficult or nearly imposable to actually find a truly desirable mate.

3. Women both seek out dominant males and fear a dominant male

There is a social yin and yang that exists in society that is clearly at odds with most females personal desires when it comes to a mate. In general, women desire a man who is dominant and capable of providing for her and the family while being internally torn by the ideals that have been falsely implanted into them. When women begin relationships that are more then just sexual pleasure they have been attracted to this male based on desirable traits. On one hand a strong, dedicated and dominant man is the ideal mate but the relationship will quickly turn into a power play with the end result being the very traits that were attractive, being striped from the male. Women expend a huge amount of effort to attract this desirable man into a relationship, once the man is in the relationship an even larger amount of effort is expended in an attempt to keep the man in the relationship. Both of these are acceptable and expected actions however the next step is clearly self destructive… Women, when they have the man in the relationship will then begin to needle away at the mans ego and strengths, until what they end up with is a husk that has no desirable attributes. This behavior is built from the very internal fear that woman have of a strong and dominant man.

Society has taught women that dominance is something to be feared and eradicated at nearly any cost. Society is filled with people who are incapable of seeing that a balance can exist between dominance and submission, that leads both people being happy. Women are trained that dominance cannot exist without one person being placed forcibly into a position of servitude. This dominance cannot exist without the other person being striped of their own personalities and desires. Dominance in today’s world is seen as indistinguishable from of an abusive personality type. Surely, no person would willingly submit to the authority of another human and when this happens clearly, the poor woman is in an abusive relationship and must be saved.

These are false and narrow minded restrictions that are placed on terms used to describe traits in males. For the majority of people in today’s society they are unable to differentiate an abusive personality from a dominant personality, simply because there are a few minor similarities between the two. It is my personal opinion that what separates a dominant personality from an abusive personality is mental illness. Each personality should be dealt with on a case by case basis but this is not what has happened. Rather then treating an abusive personality as a mental illness and dominance as a desirable trait, they are both clumped together in the same category because there may be a few, although minor, similarities in the personality profiles. This is the same society that glares down at jealously and sees it as an unacceptable and dangerous emotion rather than accepting that the only people who become that dangerous in the grips of jealously are the same people that already have existing mental stability issues. Rather than attempt to differentiate and understand either dominance or jealously, they are both just treated as dangerous warning signs and are met with scorn and hatred. Has society become so bitter towards our existence that all emotions and traits need to be eradicated simply because there are a few fucking wackos that are mentally instable? Next time some gunman takes pot shots at innocent people while laughing, are we going to label happiness as a dangerous trait that must be eradicated? Don’t believe me? Try getting on an airplane while being extremely happy and see how far past screening you will get before they pull you aside for a “personal conversation”. Emotions and personality traits should be understood and embraced, not discarded and ignored.

Even the most simple dominant traits displayed publicly by females in society are deemed as acceptable, while the same traits displayed by males can easily be punished by forced “anger management” classes. Why is it acceptable that females in today’s society are allowed to be dominant, while the males are punished for the same traits even when there is no violence attached to the display of dominance?

Why I am happy to be a “unreasonable man” and always will be.

This is not a point in the list but is an explanation of where this article originates from. I am a picky person when it comes to my core values and I refuse to compromise. I have lived long enough with my traits being systematically attacked in nearly every relationship I have entered into. I am a loving, gentle, caring, providing, honest, intelligent and dominant man and I refuse to compromise these traits based on some propaganda meant to belittle men as a whole. After being made aware of the systematic attacks taking place on the personalities of males, I made a conscious decision not to allow these actions into my relationship. My girl is not a captive in this relationship, she is a happy and willing participant. I have made my intentions in the relationship clear and have never swayed from my dedication to being in control of where we go. Long ago I decided that this life is mine to live and direct and anyone that wishes to join along on this journey is welcome. However, anyone attempting to take control of the steering wheel will be left behind.

Surrender4love has grown much in the short period that our relationship has existed and I trust that if she were to decide that she no longer wished to ride along with me she would leave the relationship as a better and wiser person than when she entered into the relationship. Both of us have learned a lot about ourselves and society in general during our relationship and I feel that we have both taught each other a lot. If the relationship were to end, I feel we are both better people than when we started. She would be greatly missed but she is not a captive and can leave at any time she feels the need to. I have explained to her that if she made the decision to leave there would be no hard feelings;though, she would be missed dearly.

It all comes down to me being an unreasonable man. I have decided where in life I am going and how I am going to get there. I will not allow anyone to compromise my ideals and will no longer sacrifice myself for the sake of a relationship. I will not be manipulated by someone entering into my life no matter what their views on males and dominance might be. During our relationship I am sure more females will come and go, coming when they feel it is time and leaving when they feel they need to.

No matter who comes or goes I will keep my integrity and be truthful to myself, and by today’s standards and by “The Rules” this makes me an unreasonable man.

So be it. This unreasonable man is going to bed and taking his girl with him. Perhaps, tomorrow she will tell you the advantages of being with an unreasonable man. Till then, I will make her do unreasonable and dirty things.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

The dilemma that I had while choosing what material would encircle surrender4love’s neck is the social environment we live in. As much as I would have loved to wrap a thick piece of metal with a huge padlock around her neck, proclaiming to the world that she was owned in more ways than just in a relationship, it did not fit into the type of community we live in. I choose to go with a thick spiral chain necklace from Bico Las Vegas (chosen and placed on her neck while we were visiting Vegas on a holiday). I removed the clasp from the necklace and replaced it with some small chain links in the back. There are times when we go out of town and I want her to wear a collar that is thick and draws attention, during these times I place her pink “love” leather collar or the red/brown thick leather collar around her neck.

Already I can see the comments regarding my choice of using the vernacular “her collar” so let me clear that up before we continue: The collar belongs to me but I do not wear the collar. I choose to say “Her Collars” because they are collars that are to be worn only by her. Only I may place the collars around her neck and only I may remove them, she never has any say as to the collar she will wear on a given day, the decision and say are mine.

Recently I was searching for a new collar as the old one has become a tad weak in the back, the years of yanking and pulling have taken their toll on the metal. As much as I would love to say that I chose one of the excellent Pattern Wire Collars from Chaotic Creations or a Turian Stainless Steel Slave Collar from the House of Collars, this is not the case. I chose to make a collar out of metal cable and a spacer with some small screws drilled in to hold everything together. I chose the handmade approach not because I am cheap but because I felt that for a while wearing a collar that draws attention will deepen and enhance her service, something that is clear and visible to those in the outside world will keep her very conscious of her status in the relationship.

In the future weeks perhaps she will receive a nice pretty collar, only time and service will tell. How the local community takes to her new collar is another issue altogether, this is really something that truly looks like a collar and is hard to mistake for a necklace. I am going out on a limb considering the religious social setting that exists around us every day but its something that I feel needs to be done.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

Rule #1 : My way may not be the best way, the fastest way or even the correct way but it is the only acceptable way.
Rule #2 : “No” is never an acceptable response to a command that is given.
Rule #3 : Do as I say.

Three rules keep things fairly simple and are easy to enforce. If I say the entire bathroom is to be cleaned with salt water then it will be cleaned with salt water. I know that salt water is not the best cleaner in the world but that is not the point and discussing it takes time away from cleaning the bathroom with salt water. (Notice: this is a lame example as I would never demand the whole bathroom be cleaned with salt water, tooth paste is much better… *insert evil laugh*)

With the rules out of the way the rest of my girl’s existence comes down to commands, expectations and experiences. Commands are the easiest to follow, when I command that tonight her hair is to be in a pony tail she knows what she needs to do and that if she does not do it punishment will be had. Expectations are a bit tougher but normally come with advance warning… when I get in the shower at night she knows that I expect to have my clothes placed next to the towel for when I get out, it’s not a command or a rule, it’s an expectation. If for some reason my clothes are not waiting for me she knows that she will not suffer a punishment. However, where my expectations are not being met it can quickly become a command with punishment expected upon failure.

Experiences, these are the ones that are hardest to follow but have the most pronounced triggers… when walking in the door from work if I look at her and say “kneel slave” experience tells her that until further notice she has been instructed to keep quite, be pleasing on the eyes and do as I instruct with no questions or complaints.

As far as rules go the closest thing we have are long standing commands:

• Panties are not to be worn unless her cycle has started.
• She is to instruct me as soon as her cycle starts.
• She is never to place herself in a dangerous situation.
• My needs come before any one.
• If a man hits on her she is to respond with “I am sorry, I am in a dedicated relationship.” and walk away.
• Masturbation is not allowed without permission or instruction.
• Orgasm is not allowed without permission or instruction.
• Profanity is not allowed and will be punished by having her mouth washed out with soap.
• If I am at home she is not allowed to answer the phone or door.
• When I come in the front door she is to present herself to me.
• The collar is never to be removed by anyone but me, except in a health emergency situation.
• Her journal is to be done every night unless otherwise instructed.
• She may not sleep with another person without my prior knowledge and permission.

The above are not rules because situations happen that may result in the need to break these. If someone attempts to drive her off the road a “fucking asshole” screamed out the window would be acceptable. If she is in the bathroom due to food poisoning then I would prefer she stay there rather than attempt to follow some “rule” to the detriment of her health, the carpet and perhaps any guest that I may have brought home.

Another thing that tends to surprise others is that we give no stock to “limits” but instead deal in probabilities, which can be hard to explain. I consider limits to be a challenge of sorts. When someone says to me “I can’t do that” or “I won’t do that” I have to wonder why. Are they truly unable, is it a health issue, is it taboo or a religious issue? Already we have advanced past many expressed limits as we have grown spirituality, mentally and emotionally. I can not say that there exists a hard limit in my life. I tend to be willing to try anything once (except for hard drugs) and limits just tend to get in the way of our ability to grow. The issue I see is not that we have a list of limits in our minds but that we do not update that list of limits as we grow and as our experiences change. What sort of life can you live when you are limited by things that you found undesirable several years ago? Because of these issues we have agreed to rid our relationship and lives of limits, hard or soft.

To replace limits we have enacted a probability standard. There is a high probability that we will engage in bloodplay in the next three months but a low probability that I will order her to give a homeless man a blow job in an alley in the next three years. Not to say that tomorrow won’t have her blowing “Homeless Homer” but probability dictates that it’s not very likely to happen.

Thus we have removed limits and most rules from our relationship and lives, we feel this allows us to grow without being held back by artificial expectations that may have been established prior to us reaching where we are now. Many limits are caused by personal experience in the past or taboos that have been dictated to us by society. Why should we limit our lives because someone in our past told us that having sex in the middle of a park on the 4th of July was unacceptable in society? A good example of a false hard limit would be when we began our relationship, due to past experiences she had endured smacking her face was a “hard limit” and now that we have grown it has become a somewhat regular expectation during sex.

~~BloodLustDaddy~~

“True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself.”
Henry Miller

Upon coming into acceptance of my submissive nature, I realized that in order for me to have purpose in my submission and not flail about with the struggle to stop myself in blind submission in various ways, I also had to come to terms with my own needs and wants for being dominated. You see, there are different levels to being dominated and those can signal different reasons based on each individual but for me it comes from the internal drive to give. In my nature, my first instinct is to give. I give in ways to take care of others needs around me, always have and always will. I go on automatic pilot and put others needs and wants above my own and this fulfills my inherent need to be of service, to be useful and essentially to have purpose. One of the hardest things for me to do is in doing an act that is overtly self serving or will put myself in anyway above another… it pains me to do so and in our society where as young women we are taught to strive for independence this has been a difficult ideal for me to come to terms with. Various social situations, whether it be in friendships, volunteering or dating relationships always I have a need, a desire to give. Sometimes, I admit that my drive to give can become a compulsion and granted when I do such things on automatic it pains me a great deal when I am taken advantage of and my nature becomes abused by those who are not true dominant type personalities but really end up being opportunists.

Yet still, through it all… in these thirty-three years of living I still give but in learning from past experience I have to try and take some action in protecting my submissive nature. This also ends up causing a great deal of pain because emotional control is not a strong point of mine and is in direct contradiction for my need to give everything that I can of myself.

Being dominated means for me to be allowed, to be able to give and to fulfill my submissive nature in a safe and productive way. When dominance comes from an honest place, from someone who has the emotional make up of being a natural dominant it automatically compliments my submissive nature. I need to be safe in the knowledge that who I am and what I am doing is all right and even expected and that is what being controlled does for me. It’s not about having every detail of my life dictated, it’s knowing that in having purpose, in being of service that the aspects that are dictated frees me to comfortable in who I am. A large part of my need for dominance is safety. In giving so much of myself, with my drive to do so I need to be controlled. I need my Dom to take the emotional reins, so to speak. Now, granted this is a part of personal responsibility to which I do not have a problem accepting… however the problem that I do have is in the ability to focus and control the emotional side of my nature; to temper it in a way. The safety that is provided by being dominated in this aspect is through emotional allowance. My emotions will run their course either way, but in order to feel safe in being vulnerable and in accepting them when they flow only comes through the control a dominant can provide with direction.

My need for dominance also comes in various forms of structure. Even small day to day tasks, need to be acknowledged and scheduled. The level of structure that comes from my dominant indicates the level in which I feel cared for. Serving a purpose in this capacity builds a foundation of trust and dependability not just from my submissive nature but also for my dominant who knows that when given a task or asked to handled something in a certain way the dominant can be more confidant that things are being done. My need for dominance in this area begins with the need for knowing; knowing what is going on any given day, knowing what needs to be done, knowing what will happen, knowing what to expect and knowing that I am pleasing my dominant by submitting to the structure that is set for both of our lives. What becomes important to me through the structure is also what is already important for the dominant.

Acknowledgment is another need that I have. My submissive compulsion to give can only be tempered with the a good intentioned dominant. The only way to know sometimes, which ties in with the need for structure and safety, that if anything that I am doing matters is if it is acknowledged. I serve by striving to do all that is asked is me, all that is expected of me and all that is needed of me and in giving so much, my nature is to continue to give and I will do so even to my own detriment sometimes. The key to knowing is through the acknowledgment for what is given. Not every little item needs to be addressed or blown up in praise, but there is always a certain amount of meaning in the acknowledgment of a dominant, just as the rules and punishments come with a certain amount of meaning. This particular need, also equates as a type of emotional language between myself and my dominant – meaning that having what I do noticed or appreciated shows me that I am cared for, that my existence matters to my dominant whether or not a single word is ever said. It can come in many forms, a warm hug or a good spanking but the form that the dominant chooses the acknowledgment in can signal often the state of the relationship. In my need for dominance, I am looking for the structure, safety, knowing and allowable patience that compliments my submissiveness all of which I have found in my Dom, BloodLustDaddy.

~~surrender4love~~