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The brat Speaks
This is the affectionately phrased “brat in the bedroom” speaking, otherwise known as brat2Bbroken. Sir and Ma’am thought that it would be a good idea to have my first post here at SP be more of an introduction instead of a regular topic post. They wanted me to give an introduction post first as a way for the regular readers of SP to get to know a little more about who I am and what my interests are when it comes to living an alternative lifestyle. From a young age, I developed an interest in sexual desires and had fantasies that many would consider to be taboo. My interests grew along with my sexual curiosity growing up and I began to practice tying myself up on a regular basis. I didn’t understand why I tied myself up but I did know that it made be feel better when I did it.
As I got older, I let that curiosity and interest lead me to the internet where I found out that I wasn’t the only one out there who thought or felt this way. Being online let me explore more and share my ideas, feelings and needs with other like minded people. For the first time in my life, I finally felt less of an outsider because there were other females out there that were just as submissive as I learned that I was.
I first met BloodLustDaddy in an online chat room about a year and a half ago. At first we argued quite a bit over various issues that would come up in the room but we always came to terms, agreed to disagree and began to see each other as friends. When we first met, I was very adamant about my limits. I wanted nothing to do with polyamory, I wasn’t bi-curious at all and I didn’t see how our friendship could have ever developed into something more because he was already in a dedicated TPE.
When I look back at the person I was at that time, it makes me laugh a bit to find myself in my current situation. Right now, I am under consideration with Sir and Ma’am to become a member of their family. I’m still learning who I am in the realm of living an alternative lifestyle but I know that I have grown so much already under their guidance and I am looking forward to path before me.
So, I hope that you’ll join me in this journey here at SP as we share the laughter, the lessons and lives of three people coming together under the umbrella of a 24/7, real life D/s/s relationship.
-brat2Bbroken
Submissive Journal: Losing Yourself As a Submissive
Alberto Vargas, 1962
Being a submissive female, sometimes those things that as a woman you need to develop on your own gets tested when you become owned. Wanting to give yourself over to a Master/Daddy/Dom/Switch or whatever you call them is a need but it’s not something that you can do unless you spend the time getting to know who you are first.
So, what happens when you take your own self worth that took years cultivating and nurturing and put it all in someone else’s hands?
Honestly, you lose yourself but not in a bad way. Losing yourself in a consensual, long term TPE is not the same as a vanilla relationship. I do want to stress though, that there is one thing that is the same and that is you cannot expect your significant other to change who you are on the inside. You cannot expect someone else to “save” you or give you a sense of self worth if you never had one to begin with. You cannot expect someone else to stop you from being yourself.
One of my main issues as a submissive female is putting others before myself and it is often to my own detriment. I know I do it and with certain people I try not to let it happen as badly but in the end I will sacrifice taking care of myself in lieu of making sure others are cared for. In general I’ll just basically let myself become worn down. I feel selfish and guilty when I take anytime to do anything for myself and that has become more so the case since entering into a 24/7TPE. I literally lose myself to other people and have a bad habit of letting that take over my self worth.
So, losing myself to others in general is not a healthy way to live. The difference is that with Daddy losing myself to him is healthy because under his control he will protect me from losing myself to other people. (Notice I said protect and not force. You cannot take an orange and force it to be an apple) He monitors me and those around me and pulls me in when he sees the need to do so. With Daddy, I have someone who will not change me but who will help me help myself. In essence, losing myself to him is more like being found than lost.
I lose myself to him because I choose to, because I trust in him as a Daddy and as a person. I lose myself into his dominance, his protection, his nurturing and his love in wanting not just the best for himself but in him wanting the best for me as well.
~surrender4love~
The Owl and the Pussy Cat…
Owl and Pussy Cat
Surrender4love looks up to me as daddy, mentor, tutor, master, provider and when she fails or does not do as requested of her then judge, juror and executioner of sorts. I have never been the sort of person to want a pre-trained submissive because my rules, desires and preferences are different than the person they may have learned from.
As her daddy I also act as her wise (not so old) owl to guide her and help her grow into a better and more structured person, to help her embrace her submission, creativity and free spirit.
She brings into my life the simple things that she falls in love with like the leaves as they change color, the rain on a summers day, the grass stains on the bottom of her feet and catching snowflakes on the tongue. As the provider I often do not notice these things in the rush to provide for the family and do what needs to be done… the little things in life that we should be enjoying get missed on a daily basis until I hear her little giggle or gasp of awe.
Curing the submissive gene
A couple of days ago, I was browsing D/s related topics online and I came across the term usage of DSR. One would think that in learning that DSR stands for Dominate Submissive Relationship that there would follow a whole slew of information about D/s in the lifestyle but that was not the case. DSR is a scientific term used in the study of lab animals while developing new medications to cure mental disorders.
The scientific community feels that being dominate is a positive human trait while being submissive is not. They align being submissive alongside depression as a personality disorder that needs to be cured. One way in which they want to cure the “submissive gene” is through medication and what better way to develop a human medication directed at manipulating our brains than through the old standard of lab mice using only one form of basic testing.
…read full article…
DaddyDom: What it means for his baby girl
I think there are a lot of people who have misconceptions about the DaddyDom/baby girl concept of a relationship. I’ve noticed that even within the lifestyle community, many people look down on this aspect because they carry over the misconceptions from the vanilla world. Also, as with all human nature there is a tendency to attack what is not understood and I find that this goes on in any sub-culture social network just as it does with mainstream society.
Let’s start off by taking a look at what a DaddyDom/baby girl relationship is NOT about.
It is not about incest
It is not about degradation
It is not about pedophilia
It is not about total psychological manipulation
It is not about slavery
It is not about sexual Freudian ideals
Now that above is out of the way, I am going to explain what being a in a DaddyDom/baby girl relationship is all about for me. I realize that everyone’s experience is different and I am not advocating what goes on in my relationship as being a standard in any way. I am just going over what personally works about this aspect of the lifestyle for me. You may agree and you may disagree, both of which you have the right to do. And as consenting adults in a lifestyle relationship what we do with ours is our right as well.
…read full article…
A new collar for kitten…
On CollarMe.com and Bondage.com I see lots of people asking what collar they should get for their submissive. I feel that right away these people are asking the wrong question. The question is not what collar should you get but what sort of collar is appropriate to your environment and community. Some people have the advantage of living in large forward thinking communities where a 3 inch thick band of metal around a persons neck would draw nothing more then a quick glance, others live in small religious communities where anything that even looks like a choker would draw lots of looks and questions.
The dilemma that I had while choosing what material would encircle surrender4love’s neck is the social environment we live in. As much as I would have loved to wrap a thick piece of metal with a huge padlock around her neck, proclaiming to the world that she was owned in more ways than just in a relationship, it did not fit into the type of community we live in. I choose to go with a thick spiral chain necklace from Bico Las Vegas (chosen and placed on her neck while we were visiting Vegas on a holiday). I removed the clasp from the necklace and replaced it with some small chain links in the back. There are times when we go out of town and I want her to wear a collar that is thick and draws attention, during these times I place her pink “love” leather collar or the red/brown thick leather collar around her neck.
surrender4love’s journal entry: Sunday 7/13/2008
Personally, I feel that in our day to day relationship that having expectations are harder to keep up with than rules. Before I get started on that topic, I do want to say that what follows are my personal thoughts and feelings on the matter. I am in no way saying that one way is better or worse. I am just stating what works for our relationship.
With the rules you have punishment. Rules are set and not always maintained leading to punishment. Now, this is not to say that BloodLustDaddy does not whip me just for amusement because he does and he does have the right to punish me when he sees fit which can be outside of the rules being set. What I am saying here, is that in my view point the biggest reason for lists of rules within a relationship is to manage punishments in a way to keep punishments happening. I am not saying that a sub/slave needs to be punished all the time but there is something about punishments that a sub/slave needs or they would not get into the lifestyle in the first place. Also, a Dom/Master who has a perfect sub/slave with no punishments ever required doesn’t fulfill their need to punish beyond exerting basic control.
…read full article…
The basics…
Rules, god I hate rules as they are only useful if they are truly enforced. Many BDSM relationships are filled with rules, checklists, questionnaires and contracts so people tend to be surprised when they find that in my dealing with surrender4love I have taken a more minimalistic approach to rules.
Rule #1 : My way may not be the best way, the fastest way or even the correct way but it is the only acceptable way.
Rule #2 : “No” is never an acceptable response to a command that is given.
Rule #3 : Do as I say.
I’m a bit needy now…
I enjoyed today, enjoyed the closeness and am excited that he will be home for another day. Now, I know that it sounds as though he were going some large distance when he really just goes to the next town to work and is home every night. The shortness of distance doesn’t mean that I like it any less.
What has always been interesting to me with BloodLustDaddy is that he is the only person that I have been able to be around all the time. Normally with me I need a certain amount of personal space in a relationship. I have never been able to be around someone as much as possible and not get tired of them or end up needing a break from them for a day or so. With BloodLustDaddy, I have never needed that space from him at all and what’s more I don’t want that space away from him.
…read full article…
Enough bitching about those who believe that submission is a gift already…
There has been a resurgence on the net again of those who don’t understand the “submission is a gift” stance and try to discredit it using comments such as “I don’t give my submission, my master takes it” and “he makes me submit, I don’t have a choice”… and then we have the “True Masters” who make brash and asinine statements such as “her submission is not a gift, its what I am entitled to as a master” and I have to call Bull Shit. Let’s put this shit in its proper place right now. This posting comes after a 4+ page conversation over at CollarMe about the topic and people who “just don’t get it” and who feel it “drives them up the wall”.
…read full article…
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